Perfect Lies and Absolute Truths
by Madarao The Authoress
Summary: Ed and Roy- the new Fuhrer- are in a relationship. But there are complications, and not just Edward being turned into a neko. RoyEd Yaoi; Lemons; mpreg
1. Chapter 1

**So, yeah, my Christmas story is late. I'm aware of that. Think of it as a Christmas/New Year story! Yay! It was, initially, going to be a one-shot. Then I decided that it's going to be a two-shot. Then, as I was writing the first part, I got an idea to make it into a longer story like Fading Too Fast. But I'll tell you about that idea at the end, kay? I'll let you read, then hit you with all the info. xD**

**Like FF needed another Ed-neko story. But he's just so adorable as a neko that I couldn't help myself! Yes, I think the characters are a bit OOC, so forgive me. (Ed obviously is. He's a frickin' neko. There'd be something wrong if he wasn't.)**

**Edward: Everybody always wants to make me fucking adorable!**

**Roy: Yup! It's because everybody loves you when you're adorable.**

**Me: Alright, you two. Are we going to start a fight? -glaring at them over my shoulder-**

**Edward and Roy: No, ma'am. **

**Me: Good! Do the disclaimer and warnings then!**

**Edward: Disclaimer: Madarao does not own Fullmetal Alchemist. If she did, she says Roy and I would be together from the very beginning. She owns the plot and the kitten. That's it. **

**Roy: Warnings: Foul language and sex-talk. Also, yaoi-ness (boy x boy lovey-doveyness.)**

**Me: That was really short, Roy. No fun.  
**

* * *

The cat yawned and stretched. No. Not a cat. A neko- a mixture between a human and a cat. Golden ears twitched groggily, a matching tail swishing slowly behind him. Long, honey-blonde hair fell in waves past his shoulders, having fallen out of the braid the night before. Sweat pants- sized too large due to the fact that they weren't his- rode low on his hips, covered by an oversized t-shirt- also not his.

Stretching his arms above his head again- Damn, that felt good!- his feet hit the cool floor and he almost flinched back. But he forced himself to a standing position, the smell of food calling him downstairs and to the kitchen, where Roy was cooking. When he heard the clink of an automail foot on the hard floor, he turned and smiled at his young lover.

"Happy Christmas."

"Oh. Um, happy Christmas to you, too." Honestly, Ed had almost forgotten today was Christmas. It wasn't like he and Roy ever got anything for each other. In fact, in the two years they'd been together, all they had ever done for Christmas was have a nice breakfast, visit Alphonse and Winry, and go out for dinner. Of course, what they did when they got home was a totally different story. Roy tried to make it so Ed couldn't walk straight until the new year. It worked their first year, but not last year. Too much practice, he supposed.

"You forgot again, didn't you?" Roy asked, giving Ed a knowing smile.

"No!" One of his ears twitched angrily, then they both flattened against the top of his head. "Yes."

"I figured you would. And I love you all the more for it." Roy saw the blush covering the neko's face before he gestured to the kitchen table. Deep laughter rang out as the blond-haired teen's- almost an adult now- jaw dropped. Pancakes, bacon, sausage, oatmeal, biscuits, and cinnamon rolls were set out on the table, coffee was in the pot, and Roy was just setting a jug of orange juice out.

"Holy shit. I love you, Roy." Edward moaned around a bite of biscuit, automail fingers stretching for a piece of bacon. Roy laughed again, placing a kiss between Edward's cat ears.

"I love you, too."

A lot had happened in the past few years. Ed had gotten his brother's body back and their journey had finally ended. Alphonse had gotten together with Winry not long after, and they were married now. Edward didn't want a normal life, though, and he'd stayed under Roy's command. And then the Colonel had become Fuhrer, which meant the younger alchemist wasn't sure where he stood anymore. The first thing Roy had done after becoming Fuhrer- besides a bunch of paperwork, that is- was to kiss Edward and tell him he loved him. After that, Ed knew he didn't have anything to worry about.

But then, he had gone on another mission- he still didn't like staying in one place for too long. It didn't end so well, and he didn't remember much about it. It was really cold and dark. He'd woken up on a hard, rough surface with his body aching and small needle holes in his flesh arm. A flash of bright purple light and he blacked out again. Next time he woke up, it was in a white room. People in white uniforms were all around, with one blue mixed in. Right beside his bed. It wasn't until later that he found out he'd been injected with cat DNA, used in an alchemic ritual, and turned into a chimera- a neko. And that the ritual had almost gone wrong. But that's a story for another time.

Back in the present, Edward was shoveling food into his mouth while his tail swished happily behind him and Roy was watching, amused. A mug of coffee was in his hands, a plate of food set in front of him.

"I forgot to call Al and tell him we were coming later."

"Lucky for you, I remembered that you would forget. So I called him instead. He and Winry will be ready for us around noon." Roy replied smoothly, hiding his smile behind his coffee mug.

"Oh. Right. Thanks." Ed replied around another mouthful. That was all the conversation there was. Roy knew better than to talk to Ed when he was 'starving,' as the teen put it. Breakfast was one of those times.

By the time they'd finished eating and had changed, it was about 11:18. The ride to Al and Winry's new place outside of Central would take a little while, so they decided not to wait any longer and left.

Alphonse and Winry had moved into a house in a small community right outside of Central about a year ago. That was four months before Ed had been taken, and five months before they'd found him with… a few extra features. Ed tried to visit them as much as possible since they were living so close now. Still, seeing Al in his real body, it never failed to make Ed so happy he just had to hug him like he might not ever let go.

That's what he did today, ears pricked and tail twisting happily. And Al just laughed, light and sweet like he hadn't in a long time.

"Alright, Ed. You're going to break my ribs if you don't let up."

"Sorry, sorry. Happy Christmas!" Ed exclaimed as he pulled back, smiling at his brother. He was, thankfully, a bit taller than his younger brother now that he didn't have a suit of armor to be compared to.

"Happy Christmas, Ed, Roy. Come on in. Winry's making lunch, and it should be ready soon." Al said as he stepped aside to give them room. Ed walked in first, trying not to look as happy as he really was, and Roy followed close behind. Al smiled as he closed the door behind them. At first, he hadn't exactly approved of their relationship, but then he realized just how happy Ed was. That made him completely okay with it, because Ed had given up so much for him.

"Lunch is ready!" Winry's voice came from the kitchen and, grinning, Edward bounded in that direction.

"Just too cute." Roy breathed, trailing behind both Ed and Al.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

"I'll clean up here. You guys go talk." Winry offered, smiling.

"Thanks, Winry." Al replied, leading Ed and Roy out to the back porch. All three talked for a while, sipping drinks from earlier. But then Roy excused himself to go to the bathroom, sat his drink on the wooden table beside his chair, and walked back inside. Ed and Al sat quietly for a few seconds before Al broke the silence.

"Has anything changed between you two?"

"Not really." Ed answered, knowing his brother meant because of him being a chimera now.

Alphonse smirked over at his brother, then asked, "You two still fuck like bunnies?"

If Ed hadn't doubled over, he would've gotten a lap full of Dr. Pepper. "Al!"

"Well, do you?"

Ed's fingers tightened on the glass, cheeks tinting slightly. "Yes."

"Use condoms?"

The glass almost slipped out of his hand. "Don't you think that's kind of personal, Al?"

"Ed, for years, I was a suit of armor. I heard you jack off in the shower too many times to count. Nothing is too personal anymore."

Ed hid behind his bangs before answering. "No."

"Lube?"

The blush on his cheeks deepened. "Sometimes."

"Is it good?"

Ed finally looked up. "You're asking me if sex with my boyfriend is good?"

Al blinked. "Well, yeah. Don't brothers do that kind of thing?"

Sighing, Ed sat the glass down between his knees and lifted his head, still blushing. "Yes, Al. The sex is great." Then it was his turn to grin. "What about you and Winry? Have you two done it yet?"

"Yeah."

"Condoms."

"For now."

"Whataya mean 'For Now?'"

"She wants kids."

"Oh. Well, is it good?"

"Yeah."

"I think I came in at the wrong time." The brothers turned to see Roy halfway out the door, an odd expression on his face. Ed laughed loudly, happily.

"Nah. Come on." he said, gesturing for his older lover to sit down again. "We'll stop talking about that for ya." Only slightly reluctantly, Roy sat down in the chair he'd occupied earlier, picking up his glass and setting it between his thighs.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

Most people had gotten used to seeing someone with cat ears and a cat tail walking around Central. Quite a few still stared, but Edward had gotten used to it by now. Both he and Roy had learned to ignore the ones who did stare and whisper. There was nothing that could be done to reverse the process and return Edward to normal. They had both searched; Alphonse had searched; even Armstrong had searched for them. But, after Nina, they all knew it was in vain. There was no way, but they could hope.

Finally, Ed had hissed in frustration and spent the rest of the night shredding the book he'd been reading. Roy had fallen asleep with his arms around his lover. When he woke up, it look like it had snowed all around and on them, and Edward was curled up in his arms, lips parted, sleeping soundly.

But right now they were in a crowded yet quiet restaurant, almost-empty plates in front of them. Ed tilted his head back, draining the rest of the wine from the glass before placing it on the table beside the plate. His finger traced the rim, chin resting on his open palm, eyes locked on the dark-haired man across from him. As if sensing that someone was watching him, Roy's eyes slid from the fountain and met Edward's. A smile graced his features, something that never showed before Ed twinkling in his eyes.

"Ready to go?"

Edward grinned and nodded, rushing Roy to pay and get their coats, impatient as ever.

When they finally got outside, their hands linked together. They always walked home Christmas night after dinner; it was peaceful and it gave them more alone time. Ed's head was lying on Roy's shoulder. That was why he felt one golden ear twitch before the blond lifted his head and glanced around. Roy watched curiously as Ed slipped his hand away and disappeared into a nearby alley. Rustling sounded from the opening, and the Fuhrer stepped forward. But he didn't get far before his younger lover walked back out of the alley again, coat a bundle in his arms. The most strange thing, though, was that Edward was rubbing it against his cheek, and the red fabric was moving. And then he heard a meow that didn't come from the neko. Roy tilted his head slightly, giving Ed another one of those 'What this time?' looks. Sharp canines showed as the neko grinned sheepishly, reaching up with one hand and grasping a bit of the coat fabric, pulling it back slightly. A kitten poked its head out, green eyes darting around and then finding Roy. It yawned, pink tongue curling.

"Can we please take her home?" Ed was so much like Al in that moment, scratching the black and gray striped head of the kitten.

Roy considered for a moment. His lover did look really happy- not to mention even more adorable- with the cat. "Alright. You can keep the kitten."

Ed smiled brightly and ran up to Roy, kissing the man quickly on the lips before taking the other's hand in his and dragging him towards the house. The Flame Alchemist just let him, trying to keep up in the deep snow.

Combat boots tracked snow all the way back to the kitchen because Ed didn't bother to take them off at the door. _I'll have to deal with that later, _Roy thought, sighing audibly as he slipped off his own shoes. After hanging up his coat, he followed the neko to the kitchen. At the sight he was met with, he couldn't help but smile.

The golden-haired alchemist was kneeling on the floor. A mostly black tail swished behind the tiny kitten as it lapped from the bowl of milk- Ed still hated the stuff even if he was part cat now. His flesh fingers were scratching against the cat's head, and he finally looked up at Roy. His gold eyes were smiling, even if his mouth wasn't.

"Thank you."

Roy smiled and knelt beside him. "As long as you take care of her."

Ed simply laughed good-naturedly.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

The cat was curled up on the couch, asleep. Ed was trying to think of a name for her, but he wasn't having any luck. In fact, he'd decided to give up for the night. After all, they weren't finished with Christmas yet. Arms wrapped around his waist; a chin rested between his cat ears.

"Time for bed?" Roy's deep voice asked from above him.

"Oh, yes."

* * *

**The next part will have the sexy in-the-bedroom stuff. Because I'm an awesome cliffhangery authoress who loves everyone who reads my stories and wants them to have to wait for the good stuff! =D So, review! Let me know if you loved it, hated it, hate me, think I suck, etc. **

**Right! About the ideas and stuff. I'd thought about continuing this after the next part as an mpreg. It would be my first, obviously, and I'd like to know what you guys thought! So, in your reviews, let me know if you'd like me to write that. **

**Also! I want you to submit ideas for the cat's name! I'll pick my favorite and make that her name. If not, her name will be Maya. **

**Edward: You bastard. You always cut off right before Roy and I get in bed together!**

**Me: Isn't it great?**

**Roy: No! I'm gonna incinerate you! -trying to yank gloves on-**

**Me: Eeek! -starts running-**

**Edward: Well, since they're being... them and not available at the moment- Ciao!**

**Me: Hey! My line, Edward!**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**As in last chapter, information shall come at the end of this chapter so you can go ahead and start reading! YAY ANOTHER CHAPTER! 'Kay. Moment over.**

**Edward: You're crazy.**

**Me: I'm not the one on crack!**

**Roy: You know we gave that shit up!**

**Me: So you two say. Just do the disclaimer and warning.**

**Roy: Disclaimer: Madarao does not own Fullmetal Alchemist; Hiromu Arakawa does. Madarao only owns the plot and the OCs.**

**Edward: Warnings: Sexy Yaoiness (boyxboy lovey-doveyness and sex), cussing, kinkiness, rimming. Uh... LEMON! **

**MeL Good job, boys. -claps- Now go to the bedroom.  
**

* * *

As the cool whipped cream came in contact with his over-heated skin, Ed shivered, golden eyes closing. It warmed fairly quickly and, as it began to melt and slide down his sides, a warm tongue slid along his skin and gathered it up.

"You kinky bastard."

"Never heard any complaints from you before." Roy mumbled against the neko's skin, tip of his tongue running up to a nipple. Ed's toes curled into the mattress as the older alchemist's teeth licked and ravaged the pink nub until it was hard. By the time Roy was squeezing more whipped cream from the cool bottle onto his lover's flushed skin, Ed was panting and rubbing his erection against the older man's thigh. His hips were gently pushed back down against the bed, cold foam patterning his skin all the way down past his hip bones. Not where he wanted it, though. It wasn't fucking low enough.

"Dammit, now you're just fucking- nngh!- teasing." The neko bucked as Roy's nose nuzzled into coarse blond curls, toes curling again.

"You're so impatient." Ed's flesh hand tugged the new Fuhrer of Amestris's dark hair, head thrown back when warm breath ghosted across his flushed, sensitive erection. The tip of the older man's tongue licked it seconds after. Ed panted out something that sounded like "hateyouhateyouhateyou" as Roy took him into his mouth, though he so obviously didn't mean it. As the man worked his mouth up and down his cock, he groaned and tossed his head from side to side, automail hand joining the other in the man's dark hair.

Right as he was on the edge- and Roy knew his little neko was on the edge because he was thrusting up into the warm slickness, head still tossing, panting Roy's name over and over- he pulled away. Edward let out a growl of annoyance, one eye cracking open to glare at his lover. "The hell'd you do that for?" he asked, breathless and raspy.

"I didn't want you to come yet; too soon, Ed."

"Nngh, I seriously hate yooooou." the blond groaned, twisting his head away and trying to find some kind of way to get his release. A cold substance touched his entrance, warmth following soon after. He gasped. Roy had gotten a bit of whipped cream on the tip of his finger and rubbed it over the puckered ring of muscles.

"Nah. You don't." His voice was muffled by Ed's thighs, which he'd ducked between. Before the neko really had time to answer, Roy's tongue pressed against his entrance, licking the sweet substance away. More was placed on top of his tongue before he pushed it inside, whipped cream and all. Ed's back arched off of the bed, his fingers digging into the mattress and pulling roughly. Curses didn't make it past his lips due to a hand covering his mouth as Roy's tongue worked further into him, opening him even more. His teeth dug into his own skin when the slick muscle rubbed against his inner walls, whipped cream already warmed and melted by his body heat.

"Guh, you're killing me." Ed moaned. His teeth had released his hand. But it proved to be a bad decision because, at that moment, Roy pushed further into him- as far as he could go, in fact- and a load groan left him.

After that, Roy slipped his tongue out and replaced it with two fingers. They worked him open even farther, and a third finger was soon added. When they all three spread open, Edward bucked. The older man's hand slid against his skin- slick with both his and Roy's sweat- as he placed his free hand on the neko's thigh.

"Ugh! Come on, dammit! Can't take it anymore." Edward panted, thrusting back against Roy's fingers when they curled and pushed against that bundle of nerves hidden in his body.

"I just love to see you squirm." Roy was still between Ed's legs, raised up and watching his young lover writhe at the ministrations. With a growl, the neko had flipped them to where he was on top and the taller man was on bottom. Mismatched legs were startled on either side of Roy's hips, cocks rubbing roughly against one another.

"I hate you sometimes, you bastard." Ed positioned Roy at his entrance, taking a deep breath before he eased down on the thickness. As usual, his body didn't want to accept it so easily. He groaned as the head pushed past the tight ring of muscles. They spasmed before they relaxed- Ed watching the look of pure pleasure on Roy's face with satisfaction- and then he slid all the way down until Roy was filling him completely, pressing against his nerves and driving him crazy. He rose up again, then slid down.

It took a few tries to actually set up a rhythm, what with Ed having to get used to it again; he hadn't ridden the Mustang in a while. But, soon enough, Ed was rising and falling quickly; Roy's hands were on his hips, and he was thrusting up to meet his lover every time he dropped down again.

"E-Edward. G-gonna c-com-"

"I-in m-me." Ed panted, and Roy nodded to show that he would. They came at almost the same time, cries of each other's names and curses filling the room.

Edward collapsed on top of the new Fuhrer, tail lying limply on the bed between the other's pale legs. One of his ears twitched and tickled Roy's cheek, and, seconds later, the new cat pushed open the bedroom door; they hadn't even closed it before they'd started undressing. The servants and butlers in the house knew what went on in the Fuhrer's bedroom Christmas night, and nobody would come over this late. There never was any disturbances.

The kitten jumped up on the bed. Oblivious to the mess they'd made, she pranced right up to Edward, tail up in the air and swishing, and started rubbing against his bare hip. They both looked down at her, breaths slightly more even now. Roy laughed as Ed smiled and scratched her behind the ears.

"I'm going to name her Nina." he whispered, looking up at his dark-haired lover. Roy was quiet for a moment, then he nodded.

"I think that's great, Ed. She did mean a lot to you." His pale fingers brushed softly against Ed's cheek. The blond alchemist slid off of his lover, Roy sliding out of him in the process, and lay down on his side of the bed, close to the warm chest of the dark-haired man. Nina curled up at the foot of the bed on Edward's side.

"Happy Christmas. I love you, Roy." Ed whispered as he pressed a soft kiss to his lover's lips.

"I love you, too. Happy Christmas." They fell asleep side by side, one of the Fuhrer's arms thrown over Edward and the blond snuggled close to the other's chest. The new cat was close to their feet the whole night.

* * *

**Obviously, I decided to go with the name Nina for the cat. Fitting, huh? Also, I have decided that this story will be an mpreg. It'll be my first, but I'm gonna do my best! ^^ And- that's really it. xD**

**Right, so that was my second for-real lemon. (Laid Bare wasn't really a lemon in all senses of the word, and the second one in Fading Too Fast didn't really count since they didn't get too far.) How do you think I did with this one? REVIEW, DAMMIT! **

**Edward: And there she goes.**

**Roy: Think we should make a run for it?**

**Edward: Definitely. **

**Me: Guys? Where'd you go? Ugh. Now I gotta find them. Ciao!**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**I know, I know. I'm late. You don't have to tell me, and you can PM me saying how much you hate me if you want. I give you permission. I got distracted by video games and stuff, though that's not a real excuse. **

**Edward: Don't start ranting up here! Let them get to the story, and rant at the bottom!**

**Me: Fine. -pouts- Do the disclaimer and stuff.**

**Roy: Disclaimer: Madarao does not own Fullmetal Alchemist; Hiromu Arakawa does. The only things she own are the plot and OCs.  
**

* * *

Throat clearing woke Roy up, and he blinked sleepily a couple of times. His butler, Alexander, was standing at the foot of the bed, a cart with their breakfast trays parked in front of him. Light snoring came from the Fuhrer's side, and he looked over to see that Edward was still sound asleep, stark naked under the blanket and pressed close to his own nude body. He smiled fondly down at the neko.

"Will that be all, sir?" Alexander asked, still at the foot of the bed.

"Oh, yes. Thank you, Alexander." The butler bowed and left the room. No matter what Roy had said about not being so formal with him. Once they were alone again- Nina appeared to have woken and left earlier- Roy wrapped his arms around his lover, pulling him against his chest. He nuzzled his nose into golden hair, humming contentedly. The blond answered by yawning, covering one of Roy's hands with his own.

"G'morning." Ed mumbled sleepily, face half-buried in his pillow.

"Maybe I should've let you sleep. You just look so… Mm… Gorgeous." Teeth nibbled at a bruised market the crook of said gorgeous man's neck. Neither was sure when the hickey had been put there; probably last night when they were stripping each other. But that was just a wild guess. They'd been too busy to really give a flying fuck- which Ed thought sounded interesting and had pointed it out to Roy on various occasions, at which point the man had laughed until he cried- about a hickey.

Ed blushed and buried his face almost completely into the pillow, fingers curling into the mattress. "Roy, stop. What about breakfast? And work, too?" he groaned to the pillow.

"They can wait a few extra minutes."

"Roy." Ed gritted his teeth as the tip of a tongue traced the mark. "Stop. If you get me started, I swear you will not leave this bed all fucking day." Roy laughed, rubbing his nose in the hollow behind the neko's human ear.

"Sounds nice." he murmured, earning another growl and a shove from his lover.

"Shut the hell up and eat. We've got shit to do, so, much as I'd like to, we can't stay here all day." As an example, he sat up- the sheets pooled in his lap, though they just barely covered enough- and leaned forward to drag the cart around. He went straight for a muffin- he wasn't sure what kind, but it looked delicious- as his eyes roved over Roy. When he leaned forward earlier, the blankets had pulled to the older man's thighs, an inch or two above the knee that was stretched out. The bastard hadn't bothered to cover back up.

Ed's eyes narrowed and he grabbed a sausage with is free hand, shoving it into Roy's mouth with an evil grin. "That's as close as you're getting right now." Roy rolled his eyes at the statement, then reluctantly sat up. Ed made dirty comments while they ate; he usually didn't talk at all. Then they both took a shower- together. Meaning they wound up fucking in the shower, Ed cursing loudly, while Alexander cleaned up the remains of breakfast in the adjoining bedroom.

It took about two hours for them to actually get to work, Edward constantly tugging up on his shirt collar to cover his neck where Roy- damn bastard- had bitten it. He'd expected Riza's gun pointed at them, but her arms were full of Havoc Junior- well, she looked enough like her father to be a Havoc Junior. But her name was Penelope, and Ed immediately grinned and held his arms out for her. Riza smiled back at him and Penelope was carefully passed from her arms to the neko's. It had taken him forever to learn how to hold a baby right, but now he was cradling her with one arm, the other hand smoothing her soft blond hair.

"I'll watch her while you work, Riza. I know you've got a lot to deal with." His golden gaze shifted from Roy to Havoc and Breda, who were goofing off at a table in the corner. Penelope was fascinated by his ears, one hand reaching up to them. Her eyes looked blue, and she giggled when he looked down at her.

"Thank you, Edward."

"No problem." He bounced the baby as he walked, making a funny little sound every now and then to amuse her.

Eventually, Hawkeye had ushered Havoc and Breda out- something about doing real work- and promised she'd be back shortly for Penelope. Ed was still bouncing her when he stopped at Roy's elbow. "Isn't she cute?" he cooed, very un-Ed-like.

The Fuhrer looked up from his coffee and paperwork, eyeing Penelope before smiling and reaching up; she grabbed his forefinger. "Adorable."

"Wouldn't it be cool to have one of our own?" he asked quietly, sighing. Before, he'd never even thought of having kids. _Screw 'em up too bad. They would turn out like me. _he'd said. But now he had Roy, and- though they'd only said it a few times- he really loved him. They had a house with butlers and everything, his lover was Fuhrer, and everything was more peaceful now. Maybe a family wasn't such a crazy idea, after all. Of course, there were still two problems: A) They were both male. And, B) What if Roy didn't want a child?

"It would, but… Ed, I'm really busy, and you still run around so much. Now's not the best time." Roy said gently, thumb rubbing lightly across the back of the tiny hand still holding tightly to his finger. He bit the inside of his cheek when his younger lover's face fell.

"I guess you're right." Ed mumbled, brushing his bent pointer finger along Penelope's cheek. After a moment, one corner of his mouth tilted up in a half-smile. "So… maybe one day?"

Roy smiled in return. "Maybe." Ed leaned over, the fingers on Roy's free hand holding the blond's chin, and kissed him. The baby smiled and laughed between them. Then, the door opened again and Riza stepped in.

"Oh. Uhm. I-I should've knocked." she said as they broke apart and looked at her. Ed grinned and gave Penelope back to her mother.

"Nah. It's fine. Are you sure you want her back?"

Riza laughed as she cradled her little girl in her arms. "Yeah, Edward; I'm sure I want her back."

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

There was a groan and a thump from behind him. A book closed on his finger as he turned to look at the source of the noises: Roy. The Fuhrer's forehead was on his desk, pen rolling towards the edge of the wood. Ed got up and caught it in his palm, frowning. Roy still hated paperwork, but he'd gotten better about doing it without Riza's gun at his temple since he'd reached his goal.

The pen twirled between his fingers. "Apparently all this work has fried your brain."

Roy offered a grunt in response.

"Alright. Let me see it, then." He waited with his hand out for a moment. No papers were put in his hand. Finally, he sighed and yanked the one from under Roy's head. Another grunt. He rolled his eyes and read over it quietly- twice, to be sure. "Sign it." He set the paper back on the desk.

"My hand hurts." Muffled against the desk's wood and coffee-stained papers.

"You are such a baby."

"Shut up."

"Sign the paper." Ed put the pen in Roy's hand and place the pen tip on the line. Eventually, 'Roy Mustang' was signed- worse penmanship than usual, he noted- on the line, and his eyes flew across a different page, lip between his teeth.

"Sign this one, too."

"Stop making me work; I hate you." Roy whined to the desk, not looking up as he signed his name on the sheet.

"I'll stop making you work when you stop acting like a baby about it." Edward mumbled distractedly; he was reading another paper. When he finished, he set it back down and picked up another.

"Sign it?"

"Nah-uh. But sign this one." The new paper was placed near the other man's head. Another loud groan and the scratching of a pen against paper. "Lazy bastard."

"Your lazy bastard."

Ed smiled before picking up another sheet.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

By the end of the day, Ed knew why Roy hated paperwork so much. He'd read all of the papers before they were signed or discarded. His eyes were burning and he was ready to just go home and eat. Plus, he had to feed Nina before it got too late and she got pissed. He imagined her shredding the couch- something he'd though about quite a few times in his first few weeks as a neko- and he had to stifle a giggle.

They took turns dragging each other- mostly Roy dragging Edward because he got distracted by sounds his sensitive new ears picked up- on the walk home, the last little stretch spent with linked arms and soft murmurs. They shivered together when they got inside, rather reluctant to take off their coats. Eventually- when they were comfortably in front of the fireplace, recently-fed Nina curled up on the mantle- the coats were shed and tossed over the back of the couch.

Ed ward laying close to Roy's chest, both men stretched out on a blanket on the floor. His braid had been pulled out moments prior and fingers were soothingly running through his hair.

"I've got that speech tomorrow."

"I know."

"You'll be there, right?"

"I always am, aren't I?" Ed lifted his head, blinking sleepily at Roy, and he smiled. Roy smiled back and it was quiet for a while.

"So, what are you thinking about?"

"Making love, not war. Countries should be more like us." Ed mumbled to his arm, already half-asleep. That probably produced the thought that he and Roy used to fight all the time; now, they were at each other in a different way.

And Roy just laughed, pulling Edward against him and sighing into his hair. "Yeah. Maybe you're right." But the blond was already asleep. "Goodnight, love." he breathed.

* * *

**That last little bit actually came from a conversation my friends and I had at PE the other day. xD Speaking of my friends, I thought they'd be totally against this idea, but, after I told them, they started debating baby names. I told them I thought they wouldn't like it, and one was like, "It sounds so cute!" So my mind was blown. xD **

**I've almost got the next chapter of Fading Too Fast done; it should be up shortly. Then I'll be on the next chapter of this! Also, I turned in a story at school! It's going off to a competition soon, and I'm hoping I'll win first place! I want that $150 dollars. One, I'm hopefully going to Kami Con next month. And, two, I want the new Kingdom Hearts game, dammit! (My brother's determined to get it. Just because he loves to piss me off. Sounded kinda like Ed right there... xD)  
**

**Edward: I still can't believe you're doing this to me. Actually, no, since it's _you_, I can. **

**Roy: Aw, come on. It's kinda sweet. _I _like it. **

**Edward: Of course you would. **

**Me: You two, take it to the bedroom. Read and review, please! Ciao!**

**Roy and Edward: Whaaaat?  
**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**To be honest, I didn't think I'd finish this chapter for a while! Major issues with writer's block. But here it is, completed and ready for your viewing pleasure! Even if I'm not all that happy with it. Especially towards the beginning. Ugh. But, though I'm not all that fond of it, I hope you guys enjoy it!**

**Edward: You're actually done?**

**Roy: I think she is... It's a miracle!**

**Edward: She didn't ramble!**

**Me: I hate you two. -glares-**

**Thank you to everyone who's reviewed, Favorited/Alerted Me/This Story. And to Nyah, again, for always saying "I bet they f." when she sees this story. xD And to Pandah Rhia for always pushing me to write. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist; Hiromu Arakawa does. It makes me very sad. T_T **

**Warnings: Boy x Boyness, Mpreg, and maybe a bit of foul language**

**Edward: I think something's wrong. She's acting different. **

**Roy: Me, too. We should run. o.o**

**Edward and Roy: -start running away from me-**

**Me: Bastards.  
**

* * *

The sun was shining brightly through the curtains that had been opened only a few minutes before. A man with long blond hair- loose and splayed everywhere- was sprawled all across the bed, snoring. Roy was glaring at him, military jacket thrown over the couch.

"Edward, get up already. There's only an hour and a half left until the speech, and we have to be there early." His tone was harsher than he'd meant, but he was nervous.

It ended up that he literally had to drag Edward out of bed and dress him because the neko was not a morning person; he was asleep on his feet and adamantly refusing to get dressed on his own, his silence more or less doing the talking for him. Eventually, though, Roy was half-carrying, half-dragging the neko out of the front door, stowing away a muffin for the blond's breakfast later; there was no way either one of them was eating at the moment.

The yard where the speech would be held was full of activity. Soldiers were setting up the tables where diplomats, reporters, and civilians would sit; a podium was set in front of that, chairs to the side and a little behind for Mustang's unit and lover.

Edward finally woke up enough to eat, having bugged Roy so long that the man finally shoved the muffin in his hands. Happily, he'd plopped down in his chair, ears twitching as he ate. The sounds of other people coming in and taking their places distracted him, and he almost forgot to eat. Almost, but not quite. What with all the distractions, he finished just in time for the speech.

It was almost the end of the speech when the blond had to slip away, one hand clutching his stomach and the other clapped over his mouth. Roy paused, stuttering. If not for Hawkeye shooting a threatening glare his way, he would've raced after his younger lover. But he stumbled through the rest of the speech, almost forgetting a few lines; normally, he was a great public speaker.

As soon as it was over, he was going after Edward. Behind him, Hawkeye stood up and addressed the crowd. "The Fuhrer will be back soon to answer any questions." The woman was always straight-forward.

Roy found Ed kneeling in the grass on the other side of the building. Since he'd not had much to eat, the neko was just dry-heaving now, ears flat against his head, tail lying limply in the grass behind him. Roy pushed the long strands of golden hair back from a sweat-slickened forehead.

"Hey, hey. What happened, Ed?" he asked quietly, right in the blond's ear, rubbing his hair softly and gently rocking him.

"Du-nno." he grumbled, sounding like he was going to throw up again. Roy stroked the younger's cheek soothingly with his free hand. The other was still holding hair out of the way, just in case. After they'd sat there for a while, and Ed's breathing had returned to normal, they finally settled back a bit.

"Better?"

"Mhm." His head nodded against Roy's chest.

"Come on. I'll get Hawkeye to see what she can do for you while I finish up here, okay?" Ed nodded again, swallowing hard before he allowed his dark-haired lover to help him to his feet. He leaned heavily on the older, taller man as they walked back, and swayed on his feet when he was left standing off to the side, out of everyone else's line of vision. His lover whispered to Riza for a moment before the blond woman nodded and walked over to him, smiling as she placed a hand on his back and led him to the building.

"Do you still feel sick?"

The neko nodded his head, one arm over his stomach.

"Do you need something to-"

"No, no. I'm not going to puke again." he mumbled, slipping away from her and settling on the couch in the Fuhrer's office. Riza pressed a hand against his forehead; he didn't feel all that hot.

"Hold on. I'll be right back, okay?" After she'd left, Edward let his head rest in the crook where the arm rest met the back of the couch. His flesh hand was rubbing his stomach softly, a frown etching his features. Earlier, he'd felt fine; whatever this was had come on without warning. No pain; no nausea at all up until the last few minutes before he'd thrown up.

"Here; sip it, and the nausea will ease off." When a steaming cup was held under his nose, questioning golden eyes dropped from the ceiling to Riza. "It's just herbal tea; it helps with nausea. Trust me." He stared at it for another moment, then sighed and took a small drink from the cup.

"Thanks, Hawkeye." he mumbled, cupping his hands around the warmth. After a quiet moment, he took another sip.

"What's wrong, Edward? You seemed fine earlier? Have you been sick lately?" Riza asked, taking a seat on the couch beside him. One of her hands pressed lightly again his forehead again. There was still no fever, despite sweat clinging to his skin.

"I dunno. I felt fine earlier, too, but it just… hit me all of a sudden. I'm sure it's not nothing major and it'll be over soon enough." he replied, shrugging his shoulders. The tea, which he'd taken a few more sips of, was already helping, and he didn't feel near as nauseous as he had earlier. "This really does work."

"You shouldn't just brush things like this off, Edward. It _could _be something serious." Riza scolded, then smiled. "I know. I drank it all the time when I had morning sickness. Jean got tired of making it for me, I think."

"How is he?"

"Brother? Are you okay?"

Edward and Riza both looked up in the direction of the door, and Edward's face dropped into a scowl. She simply laughed, shaking her head as she covered her mouth. Roy and Alphonse were fighting each other to get through the door, shoving at each other's faces and shoulders. Winry was standing behind them, one hand on her hip; one could barely see her face over both of the other men.

"Would you two stop it? One of you walk in before the other, or I'll kill both of you!" Ed growled irritably, eyes narrowing at them. He took another drink from the cup as Roy and Alphonse looked at each other. Then Alphonse stepped back and Roy walked in first, Alphonse following and Winry taking up the rear. Roy sat down between Edward and the arm of the couch and pulled the golden-haired neko into his lap.

"You okay?" he mumbled against one cat ear. It flicked against his lips. Ed, it seemed, was a bit more irritable and moody at the moment, and he didn't want to make the neko mad again.

"Now, yeah. Riza gave me this, and it really helped." He gestured to the cup before taking a longer drink from it.

"Brother, you had me so scared! I thought something was really wrong when you ran off-stage and didn't come back!"

"We were both really scared, Ed. What happened?" Winry asked, standing beside Al in front of the couch.

"Nothing. I just… Well, I got a bit sick. But it's okay now! I promise!" A grin spread across his face, sharp canines glinting in the light filtering through the curtains.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

The same thing happened the next morning, though. Ed had to rush to the bathroom after breakfast, and he wound up spending half of the morning retching into the toilet. Roy called Riza and had her tell the cooks what to make for the nausea. After that, the blond was able to come out of the bathroom.

"Ed. I'm going to have to insist you see the doctor, okay?"

"I dunno, Roy. It's probably nothing."

"Please, Ed. Just to settle my nerves, okay? You can use my personal doctor. I'll give him a call, and we'll probably be able to see him later today."

Ed heaved a long sigh, but finally mumbled, "Fine. You can call him." And Roy rushed off to do so.

* * *

**And so, that's the end of this chapter! I've already got ideas for the next chapter, so I should be working on it real soon! I just don't have a lot to say tonight. Uh, read and review if you liked it. Or, ya know, even if you didn't like it. I wanna hear either way! **

**Edward: The world's fucking ending! She's got nothing to say!**

**Roy: Oh my gawrsh the fuck are we gonna do? AH!**

**Me: And they're both running in circles panicking. -sigh- Well, read and review! Ciao!**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**I forgot I finished this last night. =D No surprise there cause I felt like shit, but that's become a regular thing for me. ANYWAYS! Here's the next chapter of Perfect Lies and Absolute Truths. Please note: I dunno shit about pregnancies and shit. I could ask my mom, but then she'd freak out and be all "ARE YOU PREGNANT?" and I'd have to explain /why/ I needed to know about it. So. This is what ya got. Don't like it? Shove it up your ass, cause I dun care. **

**Edward: Someone's acting like a bastard today. **

**Roy: Doesn't she act like that everyday?**

**Me: Shut up, you two! I act like one everyday, but not where all the people who read my stories can see! =D**

**Thanks: Thank you to everyone who reads my stories, and to everyone who reviews/alerts/favorites my story/me(for the last two.) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist; Hiromu Arakawa does. If I /did/ own it, Roy and Edward would be together and fucking all the time, Winry would never have showed up, and the hommunculus would all die a fiery death at the hands of Roy. **

**Warnings: Doctory-ness, MPREG! (finally, right?), foul language, boyxboy cuteness! Also, Winry-is-a-whore. Thank you!**

**Enjoy the chapter!  
**

* * *

"I'm gonna kill you when this is over with. I hope you know that." Ed grouched, clutching his stomach. He'd gotten sick again this morning, much to his dismay. The doctor hadn't been able to make it yesterday, so they still didn't have even an idea as to what was wrong with Edward- who was guzzling herbal tea again. Hopefully, when the doctor arrived in a few minutes, he'd be able to give the blond something and he'd get better soon.

"The doctor is here, sir." Alexander announced from the doorway of the bedroom. Dr. Neumann was ushered in, smiling. Edward scowled at a wall. Alexander excused himself, backing out and closing the door behind him.

"So, Mr. Elric. Been sick these past few mornings, I hear?" Ed grunted in reply to the doctor's question, glaring into his mug of tea. Dr. Neumann chuckled as he took a seat on the bed beside the blond neko. "Fuhrer Mustang, if you'd give us a few minutes alone so I can check him over, I'd greatly appreciate it." Startled, Roy blinked a couple of times, dark eyes wide. Then he nodded and stood, kissing Ed's forehead before leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

Dr. Neumann did everything he usually did: Checked Ed's temperature, looked in his ears- all four of them- and at his throat, tested the neko's reflexes and almost got hit in the face for it, and checked his heartbeat. Then he made Edward lay down and lifted the teen's shirt. Cold fingers probed his warm skin. A frown appeared on the middle-aged man's face, deepening the wrinkles in his skin. Fear clenched Ed's stomach, and he suddenly felt sick again. The doctor pushed against his stomach again, then pulled the neko's shirt back down.

"I'm going to have to take your blood for testing, Edward."

"No, you are _not! _You don't need to take my fucking blood! Shouldn't you-"

"Yes, I do. Else we won't know what's wrong with you."

Edward groaned but reluctantly held his arm out, gaze on a wall so he wouldn't have to see. It stung when the needle pierced his skin and when it jostled because Dr. Neumann had to change the canister the blood was spurting into, but it wasn't too bad besides that. After what seemed like forever, the needle was removed and the spot bandaged.

"So, Mr. Elric, the results should be back in no later than four days; call me then. If I get the results before, I'll give you a call." He patted Ed's flesh knee lightly. "If the nausea in the morning continues, keep drinking the herbal tea, okay?" Ed nodded and the doctor picked up his things, bidding the neko a fond farewell before he left.

Roy came in about five minutes later, sitting on the edge of the bed and wrapping his arms around his lover's waist so they were pressed close. Smiling, he kissed Edward's forehead and the neko snuggled close to his chest.

"Happy?" Ed mumbled to the dark-haired man's shirt.

"Very." he answered, leaning back against his headboard. Ed slid with him, settling almost in Roy's lap. "Feel better?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Mm. Good."

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

_Three Days Later_

"Sir. There's a call for Mr. Elric. Says his name is Mark Neumann." the voice over the phone line- some secretary whose name he wasn't sure of- informed him.

"Put him through." Ed had gotten sick every morning since the doctor's visit, so Roy was anxious to hear the diagnosis. "Ed, doctor." Roy called to the neko- who was on the floor, butt in the air, tail swishing as he purred and pawed at Riza's laughing baby; the nausea had disappeared a while ago. Edward sat up, ears perked. Then, finally seeming to register what had been said, he shot up and grabbed the phone from the dark-haired man. It pressed hard against his ear, finger twirling the cord, as he cleared his throat.

"Doctor?"

"Ah, Edward. The results are back. They're… shocking, to say the least." Ed stood quietly, paces away from Roy's desk, still twirling the phone cord around his finger. When the doctor didn't continue as his silence demanded, he sighed exasperatedly and rolled his eyes.

"Aaaa~nd?"

"We ran the test quite a few times to be sure, and they all came back the same." There was a short pause in which Ed started pacing, wanting nothing more than to wring the man's neck for not coming right out and saying what the fuck was wrong with him. "You're pregnant."

"W-What?" he stuttered, eyes bulging. His grip tightened on the receiver, fingers that were wrapped in the cord pulling it taut. It was coiled around his legs, as well; he could feel it pulling. The diagnosis was repeated in his ear.

"I'll need to see you Wednesday for a checkup, okay?"

"O-Okay." _How is he not more weirded out by this? _He twirled his finger to get the cord from around it. "I-We'll be there. Bye, Dr. Neumann."

"Take it easy, Ed."

The blond stood there for a few minutes, staring in disbelief at the wall. Then he slowly turned around. "I'll give you a two second head-start. Run. Now." Roy stared at him; he didn't start running until Edward dropped the phone and stepped out of the cord. "You bastard!" Soldiers stared as the neko chased his lover. Everyone knew that Ed was the only person the Fuhrer was actually scared of. "This is _your_ fault! _You _did this to me! I'm going to fucking _kill_ you!"

For some reason, Roy had run into a bathroom. Nowhere else to run, he turned and caught Edward, holding the blond against his chest. The side of a fist thumped lightly against his ribs over and over, owner panting into the jacket.

"What happened? What'd the doctor say?" His voice, though breathless, sounded far calmer than he felt.

Ed shook his head, fist bumping the older man's chest again. There was no way it could be true. Guys didn't get pregnant. That was a girl thing. And how would Roy take it? On top of him being pregnant being impossible, his lover had already said that they weren't ready for kids.

"C'mon, Ed. You can tell me anything. Especially if it's my fault." Roy whispered, smoothing blond hair with his free hand; the other was resting on the small of his lover's back. Edward pressed closer against the other, grabbing hold of the military jacket and twisting his hand in it.

"Don't freak out?"

"Why would I freak out?"

"I'm pregnant."

* * *

**So there ya have! Ed is officially pregnant. Well, I mean, I suppose he was officially pregnant before, but now people knooooow. xD**

**While I was writing some of this, Susannah was reading over my shoulder. I'd pause to think about what I was going to write next (this was during the phone conversation between Edward and the doctor) and she was like "And he _looked_ into the phone receiver, eyes _bulging_ out of his skull, only to hear a _repeat_ of the die-agnus-is!" We are still quoting it. xD But, as you can see, it didn't make it into the story. SADNESS! T_T**

**So, did ya like it? Hate it? Want me to kill myself so I can never write again? LEMME KNOW IN A REVIEW! =D They make me happy and encourage me to write moooore~ Even if I have a hard time getting back to them sometimes. ._.**

**Edward: Well, she's back to rambling again. Good to know some things never change.**

**Roy: Exactly. Even if we wish they did. -sigh- So tragic. **

**Me: Fuck you.**

**Edward and Roy: We love you, too!**

**Me: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ciao!**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Right, so, my cousin wanted me to work strictly on The Heart Never Forgets, but I was like "Nuuu! Other people want my other stories updated, too!" So I wound up writing this against her wishes and she'll probably be upset at me for a little while. xD But that's okay because I know you guys will love me for it! ...Right? Man, I hope so! Else I'll be a really sad authoress! **

**Edward: No waterworks right now, okay? **

**Roy: Save them for some other time.**

**Me: Fine. You two are evil. T_T -in my emo corner-  
**

**Edward: Great. Guess we'll do the disclaimer and stuff. **

**Disclaimer: Madarao does not own Fullmetal Alchemist; Hiromu Arakawa does. She said... if she did Roy and I would fuck at all times and Winry would have gotten her brains spilled all over the ground by some horny, drunk guy. O.o**

**Roy: Er, Warnings: foul language, mpreg, um... What else? **

**Madarao breaks in screaming: ROYED FLUFFAYNESSSSS! =D**

**Roy: Yeah. That.**

**Edward: I'm kinda scared now.**

**Me: Enjoy the story! ^^  
**

* * *

Roy was… laughing? What the hell? Roy was fucking laughing! "That was a good one, Ed. Really good. Now, quit joking around. What did the doctor really say?" Edward narrowed his eyes at the older man. "You are joking… Right?" he asked, humor fading from his voice and expression.

"Why the fuck would I joke? Do I look like I'm joking?" the blond asked irritably, punching the dark-haired man in the shoulder.

"What the fuck?" Ed was pretty sure Roy's brain was leaking out of his ears. And he was hyperventilating, too. In any other situation, he might have found this funny. But it wasn't because he was fucking _pregnant_. Things like that just didn't happen! At least, not that he'd heard of. And, apparently, not that Roy had heard of either.

Edward had pretty much calmed down by now. Rather, the anger and shock were pretty much gone, leaving curiosity and worry in their wake. But Roy… well, Roy still wasn't taking it so well.

"You sound like you're going into labor." he joked, trying to lighten the mood. From the look Roy gave him, he hadn't succeeded.

"That's not funny."

"Aw, come on. It was a little funny." His hands rested over his stomach as he leaned back against a wall. Roy was in front of him, breathing heavily and running a hand through his already-messy hair. "Calm down, okay? If anyone should be panicking, it should be me."

"Why aren't you?"

"I already did. Still am, kinda."

"Ed, this is fucking impossible. How the hell did I knock you up?" Roy looked just as upset as Ed felt. The neko sighed and leaned forward again, hand cupping the other's cheek lightly.

"I have no clue.

"Did you know I could?" the dark-haired man asked, leaning into the hand. Ed's eyes narrowed slightly and he almost snatched his hand away. But he didn't because he knew Roy had to ask.

"Of course not. Don't you trust me enough to have told you?" he asked, tone full of hurt. His lover hugged him, resting his chin between golden cat ears. There was silence for a while, both listening to each other breathe.

"I trust you, Ed. Just as much as I love you. But… I had to ask. You know I did." Edward buried his nose into the bright military coat at the words. His legs were still bent towards the ceiling, and he slid one down- around Roy's waist, ultimately- so he'd be more comfortable.

"I know." he mumbled to the jacket, sighing and relaxing into his lover's embrace.

"What did the doctor say?"

"I've got an appointment Wednesday, and I'm pregnant- a shocking development, obviously. That's about it." Ed paused, tilting his head up. Roy's chin slipped from the top of the blond's head and onto his forehead, whereas the younger's own chin dug into the other's chest. "You'll go with me, right?"

"Of course, Edward. Why wouldn't I?"

Instead of answering the question, Edward said something completely and totally irrelevant. "I'm hungry, Roy."

"What do you want?"

"Something sweet. And I wanna go home, too. Do we have to stay?" Roy was silent for a few minutes, deliberating in his head before he sighed.

"Nah. We'll go home early today, okay?"

"Thanks, Roy. I love you." Ed mumbled, kissing his lover lightly on the lips before standing up. He pulled the dark-haired man up with him and dragged him back out of the bathroom, down the hall, and into the Fuhrer's office to get their things and tell Riza they were leaving.

"You. Left. My. Baby?" Hawkeye had a gun aimed at them. Edward's hand went to his stomach and he halfway hid behind the taller man.

"Something important came up, Hawkeye." Roy exclaimed calmly. "The doctor called about Edward." The gun wavered.

"Why couldn't you have taken it in here?"

"We did."

"So… Fine, Fuhrer Mustang, sir." The safety was flipped back on and the gun stored in the holster at the blond woman's hip. Penelope was on the other hip.

"We're leaving. Take care of things around here for me?"

"What?"

"Like I said, something important came up." At Roy's words, Riza's eyes narrowed but she reluctantly nodded. Roy and Edward got their coats and paperwork- well, the older alchemist got paperwork- and they both left, the blond hardly ever letting go of the other's arm.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

Edward and Nina were curled up on the couch in front of the fireplace. They were purring, the blond gently rubbing his hand along the kitten's back. Roy was watching from his place in the armchair to the right of the couch, glasses perched on his nose and paperwork in his hand. It hadn't been long since they'd gotten back home, and Alexander had been told to get Edward something sweet the moment that they walked in the door. Of course, Roy had leaned down and breathed, "Maybe you should just take a bite outta me." in Ed's ear. At the statement, the neko had blushed- and goddamn, that was just the cutest thing the dark-haired man had ever seen.

Now, the butler walked in with a clear bowl, fork leaning along the side. Ed grinned and sat up, holding his hands out for it. The corner of Alexander's mouth lifted slightly as he handed it over. The neko, still grinning wide, leaned back into the crook where the arm met the back of the couch and stuck a spoonful of chocolate pie into his mouth.

"Will anything else be needed, sirs?" the middle-aged man asked, smiling warmly.

"No, Alexander. Thank you."

"Numph! Thiff iff rewwy gooff!" Edward said around a mouthful, making it nearly impossible to understand him.

"Thank you, Mr. Elric. I shall give the message to the baker." When the butler left- it was only a few seconds after, really- Roy was still laughing at his lover, who didn't really give a damn at this point because he had some fucking good pie. The pie was gone too fast, though, and Edward pouted at it for a few minutes before setting the bowl on the table and holding his arms out for Roy.

They wound up sitting together on the couch, Ed between Roy's legs and the older man's arms around his young lover. A book they'd both agreed on was in his hands, and they had both been reading it at first. But then Edward had mumbled that he was sleepy and wound up curling up against his lover's chest, hand pressed between his cheek and the other's heart. Roy smiled and kissed the top of the younger alchemist's head, receiving a small sigh of approval, before going back to his book. One hand held it open now instead of the both of them; one was wrapped protectively around Edward's middle.

After a while, Roy grew sleepy as well. Seeing as Edward was already asleep, he placed the book on the couch beside them- startling poor Nina so much that the kitten hissed and ran off- and then picked his smaller lover up bridal style. Carefully, he carried the blond to the bed and lay him down on his side. When they'd gotten home, Edward had changed into loose sweatpants and one of Roy's t-shirts, so there was nothing else to be done except change into his own sleeping clothes- much the same as Edward's were now, actually, except he didn't bother with a shirt- then climb in bed with his young lover and pull the covers over the both of them. His arms wrapped around Ed's middle again, lightly rubbing the younger's stomach before he nosed blond hair out of the way and kissed the back of a warm neck. "Love you, Ed." he mumbled, though he was fully aware the other couldn't hear him.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

That morning, Edward didn't get morning sickness. Both he and his lover were extremely happen with that. Regardless, Roy still called into the office to tell them that he wouldn't be coming into the office today. Riza, always suspicious and on-task, promised- _threatened-_ that she'd bring paperwork by in a couple of hours. Still, the lovers refused to leave the bed unless for a very important reason- like having to pee. Which Edward didn't have a problem letting the whole house know he had to do, having run to the bathroom once or twice yelling over his shoulder, "I'll be right back! I gotta _piss_!" as loud as he fucking could. And Roy would just laugh, because that was _his _Edward and he wouldn't want the blond any other way.

Alexander showed Riza up the stairs, but she waved him off and walked to the master bedroom on her own.

"What do you wanna name it?" The question, muffled by the door though it was unmistakably Edward's voice, made her pause and stick her ear against the wood.

"Don't you think it's a bit early to be discussing names? We don't even know whether it'll be a boy or a girl." And that was Roy.

"I guess you're right… But be thinking of both just in case, okay?" A moment of silence. "Do you want a boy or a girl?" This one was quieter.

"Mm, a girl, I think. She'd be adorable. I can just picture her."

"… Are you sure about this, Roy? I mean, the other day, you said-"

"I know what I said, but this is already happening. I'm sure, Edward." It was at this point that Riza decided to stop eavesdropping and knocked on the door. The conversation abruptly stopped, and Roy called for her to come in. She opened the door slowly. Roy and Edward were on the bed, covers pulled up. The dark-haired man was leaning back against the headrest, Edward between his legs, much like they'd been last night. Except now the older man's hands were resting on Ed's stomach, the blond's hands on top of them. Though she was even more suspicious that something… unusual was up, Riza didn't say anything about it.

"I've brought your paperwork, Fuhrer Mustang."

"Riza, we're not at the office. You don't have to be so formal." Roy told her, smiling warmly. "Just put them on the table by the couch."

"Oh, um, alright." The blond woman put the stack in the indicated spot, then stood in front of the door with her arms behind her back.

"Where's Penelope?" Ed asked, noticing the little girl was not with her mother.

"Oh, Havoc has her. My arms were full with the paperwork, so I wasn't able to bring her with me. I'm sorry; did you want to see her?"

"Well, yeah, but that's okay. Tell her I'm gonna see her real soon, okay? And that I'll make her a flower crown." One day, when snow was on the ground, Edward had stopped on the way to the office, stopped, and transmuted a ring of flowers for Riza's little girl. She'd giggled at it and had looked adorable with it on. So Edward promised he'd do it again for her sometime. Though she wasn't likely to remember him making that promise- she wasn't even old enough to string together a sentence- he intended to keep it all the same.

"Of course, Edward." A rare, small-but-warm smile found its way onto the blond woman's lips.

They talked for a while longer before Riza said she had to leave. "No wonder what those idiots have done to the office in just the little while I've been gone." she'd groaned before leaving the room. Roy put off the paperwork until later, and Edward hadn't been happy when the man had left the bed to go to the bathroom and come back with a stack of papers to sign. But, since he knew it had to be done and they'd already been laying around in bed for the whole day, he didn't complain about it. There wasn't that much signing to do, anyways, and the paperwork was done in record time. The neko had insisted upon cuddling then, and Roy didn't complain. So it was a whole day doing nothing productive. But they wouldn't have traded it for anything, because they spent it with _each other_.

The next day full of work was going to kill them after a whole day of being lazy.

* * *

**AH THAT WAS SO CUTE! What'd ya think? Like it? Love it? Hate it? Want me to stab myself with a pencil? LEMME KNOW IN A REVIEW! =D **

**My brother just told me he doesn't like Izumi. O.O I freaked out. And then I started fangirling over Roy. -shifty eyes- (In case you can't guess, I was watching FMA at the time.)**

**Edward: You've got a lot of issues, ya know?**

**Roy: You're just jealous because she didn't fangirl over you. =P**

**Me: Shush. I fangirled over the both of you. You two are both so keyute when you fight! OMG I LOVE YOU! -fangirl glomp-**

**Edward: Can't breathe!**

**Roy: DYING! **

**Edward: Quit stealing my crack, dammit!**

**Roy: It makes you fucking crazy! **

**Edward and Roy: Save yourselves!  
**

**Me: Heehee! I'll quit stealing it when you hide it in a better place! Ciao, you guys! **

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry, but this A/N is probably going to be pretty short. I'm really tired OMG. -listens to cheering in the background- Right, so, no random rambling tonight. Just, keep in mind, I was really fucking tired when I wrote most of this, so please excuse any mistakes and stuff. **

**Also, I'm sorry I've not gotten back to /any/ reviews on /any/ story. I fail at replying to reviews. T_T Is terribly tragic.  
**

**Edward: I'd act really surprised that you weren't rambling, but...**

**Roy: We're actually not all that surprised. /We/ know how tired you are.**

**Me: Yeah. Thanks, guys. **

**Thanks to everyone who's reading this story, reviewing this story, and to anyone that has favorited/alerted me/this story! I loooooove getting all of the emails, since almost all of them (actually, I think it is all of them. xD) let me know people love my stories!**

**Disclaimer: To keep it simple tonight so I can go to sleep, I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist; it came from Hiromu Arakawa's head. I just wrote this fanfic. **

**Warnings: Mpreg, foul language, cuteness and crudeness, HOSPITAL! Duh duh duh!**

**Enjoy the chapter!  
**

* * *

Three days had passed. It was Wednesday, the day of a certain neko's appointment with the doctor. The aforementioned neko was currently acting like a child and hiding so he wouldn't have to go, even if he knew he had to. No matter what, he wasn't going without a fight, though he knew his lover was hoping that he would.

"Ed." The blond was drug by his collar out of his hiding place, childishly yelping. "Do we really have to go through this today?"

"But, Roooo~y! I don't wanna go! Please don't make me!" Edward whined, looking up at the dark-haired man with wide, shining eyes. Usually, that would break Roy and make him do whatever the blond wanted. Not today, unfortunately for the neko.

"Sorry, Ed, but you have to go this time."

"No, I don't! I'm perfectly fine; everything's great!"

"If you don't go to him, I'll bring him to you." That shut up Edward up, and he quickly changed into dark pants and a lighter button-up. As he was pulling on a pair of boots- exactly like the ones he'd worn on his journey to find the Philosopher's Stone- Roy came into the bedroom with the car keys in his hand. "Ready?" The neko glared at him, letting his foot hit the ground hard and standing up. "Don't be like that, Ed. You know you have to go."

"Shut up." Edward mumbled. That was all he said since he didn't have a proper- and more than likely very stupid- argument. He stomped out of the room, grabbing Roy's hand and dragging the older man with him as he left the house. Even if he was upset with the whole situation, including his lover, he still wanted Roy to be there. After all, he loved the dark-haired man more than anything in the world. Not to mention they both had a part in this.

Roy was driving, which was not near as scary as Edward driving. Neither could really drive all that well, though the older man was better at it than the blond- who could, to quote Havoc, "Crash a goddamn parked car if you let him at the wheel." Havoc had gotten punched in the shoulder for that one, and was deaf in one ear for a while.

"Stop somewhere. I gotta go to the bathroom." Ed hissed, legs crossed.

"What? You went… not that long ago, and we're almost there."

"But I gotta go _now_."

"You can't hold it for a few more minutes?"

"No, dammit!"

"Ed-"

"If you don't stop somewhere, I'll piss my pants. So pull over. _Now._" the blond growled, taking to bouncing in his seat. Contrary to popular belief, it didn't help; it only made it fucking worse. And Roy let out a sigh and stopped at a service station. Edward practically flew out of the car and into the station, leaving the dark-haired man frowning in the car with one hand still on the steering wheel.

"I'll just wait here, then." he said to the empty air, shifting gears and leaning back into the seat to wait for the blond to come back out. If he was much longer, they'd be late, and Neumann would no doubt let them both have it. The doctor was nice most of the time and fantastic at his job, but he could be real pissy. Roy learned that last year when he'd had a cold and refused to lay in bed all day and take the pills like he was supposed to. He still had nightmares about that.

"Ooo~h, I feel so much better." Edward practically purred as he fell back into the car.

"So glad. Can we go now? You're not gonna have to go in a couple more minutes, are you?" That earned him a death glare and a punch in the shoulder- with the automail hand, no doubt. He hissed and returned the glare with one of his own, then pulled out of the parking lot. Edward glared at him the rest of the ride to the hospital, not saying a word though it was pretty obvious what he was thinking.

They walked in together, but Ed insisted Roy stay in the waiting room. "I don't want to fucking hear your fucking smartass comments, alright? So sit your ass in the chair." he had growled before stomping out of the room and following the nurse. So Roy did just that. For all of two seconds. Then he got to his feet quickly and started pacing. When it came to some things- like Edward, for instance- he was not a patient man. It didn't help that he was nervous for his younger lover.

A few times, passing nurses stopped and asked him questions like "Do you need anything, Fuhrer Mustang?" and "What brings you here today, Fuhrer Mustang?" And, every time, he'd given short answers and they'd walked away frowning. It left him alone to pace, until another couple came in to wait. The woman leaned her head on the man's shoulder, fingers twining. Roy glanced at them a few times, finding them talking quietly between themselves each time. Thinking about Edward alone in the office with the doctor, being checked for something neither had known was possible, made his stomach clench. _I should've gone with him, even if he didn't want me to. _

When the blond reentered the waiting room, one hand on his stomach and a few papers and such clutched in the other, Roy's shoulders relaxed and he pulled the other close to him. "How'd it go?" he asked quietly, aware of the other couple watching them.

"Fine. We can talk more in the car, alright?" Edward shot a pointed look at the other two before slipping away from the older man and leading the way out to the car. "The doctor said that everything looks fine, and that I'm around a month into the pregnancy. These are some kind of prescriptions, but I sorta don't remember what exactly he said about them." the neko said when they'd both gotten into the car, holding a couple slips of paper out and blushing. "He's already called them in; they'll be ready sometime tomorrow, though." Roy nodded and looked them over, then stowed them in his own pocket.

"Anything else I should know?"

"N-not really." Edward was still blushing, and he turned to stare out the window.

"Are you planning on telling Alphonse? Or anyone, for that matter?"

"I… I'm not sure. Probably Al, but does anyone else really need to know?"

"You're more than likely going to show."

"Holy shit! You're right! We gotta do something! I don't want everyone to know, and with you being Fuhrer it'll be fucking everywhere!" the blond screeched, causing the dark-haired alchemist to flinch. Damn, the boy was loud.

"Calm down, Ed. We'll figure something out if you're so worried about it." Roy replied, reaching over and placing a hand on the other's cheek. Edward took a deep breath and nodded, then leaned over and pressed a short, soft kiss to his lover's lips.

"Thanks. For sticking with me and… everything." he mumbled, leaning his head so his forehead was resting lightly on the Fuhrer's.

"Did you ever think that I wouldn't?"

"Well, no… but… I love you."

"I love you, too, Edward." Roy kissed his lover long and sweet, then, smiling, turned to the steering wheel so they could leave; both of them hated hospitals and, even if they were already out, being near it was enough to send shivers- the bad kind, not the ones caused by Edward- down his spine. The blond neko curled up close to him not long after they'd pulled away, and fell asleep moments later with his head resting lightly on the older man's thigh, soft snores rumbling in his throat. When they got home, Roy carried the other upstairs and stripped him of all but his boxers, then quickly followed in suit and fell asleep curled up with his lover, arms wrapped around the young alchemist's middle.

* * *

**Am I the only one who thinks it was a little rushed at the end? No? Thought so. Please forgive me for that. Like I said earlier, super-duper-tiredness is getting the better of me. -dying-**

**Anyways, I'd loooooove a review from ya! It'd make my day. Unless, of course, you're saying you hate it. Then I'd be kind of sad, but at least I'd know! =D**

**Edward: Sheeeeeee's lost it.**

**Roy: She had it?**

**Edward: I suppose you're right.**

**Roy: So... what? She's fallen into the deep end?**

**Edward: I dunno. I think she was already there...**

**Roy: Well-**

**Me: Would you shut up? So, leave a review and stuff! I wanna hear what you have to say! Ciao!**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao**

**(P.S. DON'T FORGET TO R&R! KTHANKS! =D)  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**So... Yeah. I didn't take a break. I will one day, I swear it I will! But for now, I'm going to be writing a lot for ya! Plus... I've got new ideas. So There'll probably be another story up from me soon. Off-the-wall, I must warn you; it's convinced me that I am certifiably insane. Anyone agree? Thought everyone would. =D**

**Edward: I don't like your new idea, by the way. I really don't.**

**Roy: Aw, don't be like that, Eddo! I like it!**

**Me: Alright, you tw-**

**Edward: Of course /you/ would!**

**Roy: Was the-**

**Me: SHUT UP! ... Thank you. =D**

**Thanks to everyone reading this story, more thanks to the people who've favorited/alerted me/this story, and a bajillion thanks to the people who review! I LOOOOOOVE YOOOOOU GUUUUUUUYS! -heartsymbol-**

**Dislaimer: NOOWNZNOOWNZNOOWNZ! NO. OWNZ! Got it?**

**Warnings: Mpreg, RoyEd cuteness, /maybe/ foul language. Yeah... That's it. **

**Enjoy the chappy!  
**

* * *

Hands were lying gently on his stomach, underneath the shirt. The fingers occasionally twitched, tickling his skin slightly. Edward smiled slightly and his hair fell over his closed eyes as he nuzzled his nose lightly into the pillow, enjoying the feel of his lover's hands on his belly.

"You awake?"

"Mhm." he mumbled to the pillow, hands finding Roy's under his shirt. His fingers threaded through the older man's, holding their hands in place. "So, Mr. Fuhrer, what're the plans for today?"

"Mm, I've got to go back in to work before Hawkeye hunts me down, and we've got to get your medicine, too. I was thinking about looking into a place for us to escape to since you don't want anyone to know." A nose pressed into his hair right behind a golden cat ear. It twitched, the owner chuckling slightly.

"Thanks, Roy." he mumbled, slipping his hands out of the other's and flipping over so he was facing the older man. "How long are you gonna be able to go without wanting in my pants, huh?" He smirked, clasping his hands around Roy's neck.

"Long as it takes." Roy replied, kissing Edward lightly. His arms were still around the neko's waist.

"You liar. I give it 'til tomorrow."

"I'm not a horny teenager, Edward. I can wait."

"No you can't." The blond smirked and pushed a knee into the older man's crotch, not too hard. He felt the other tense and grinned evilly. "See? You know you want it." One hand fisted in Roy's dark hair, pulling his head back so that Edward could nip at a pale throat. "You taste good." he groaned, tip of his tongue tracing veins.

"Nngh, don't do this, Ed. You're pregnant; we can't." Roy pushed against his knee and Edward bit the skin, pleased.

"Your body doesn't agree with your mind." He moved his knee and replaced it with his hand. His grip tightened, causing Roy to hiss, as he sucked on the bit of skin that had previously been between his teeth.

"You're killin' me, ya know?" Edward's hand slipped inside the waist band of Roy's boxers, fingers wrapping tight around hot flesh. The dark-haired man groaned. Ed smirked, then let go and slid out of bed.

"Gotta go to the bathroom." he practically sang, waving as he left the room.

"Nngh, Ed, you're such a bastard!" Roy called after him, flipping over so his face was buried in the pillow. Laughter rang down the hallway, causing him to growl. Ed had decided to go to the bathroom down the hall so it would be less likely Roy would sneak up behind him. The blond came back a few minutes later, purposefully staying far enough away from his lover so the man couldn't grab hold of him.

"I think I'm gonna stay home today. I'm still really tired and stuff…" While he was in the bathroom, he'd noticed a bump on his abdomen that hadn't been there a while ago. His hand was resting lightly on it now, golden eyes flitting around the room so he didn't have to look at Roy, who had- apparently- not noticed either. "That okay with you?"

"Of course. Come here." Roy got up and caught Edward's wrist, pulling the blond closer so he could kiss him. "I love you."

"I love you, too." he mumbled, smiling and letting his head rest against the taller man's chest. He could hear the other's heartbeat, pounding in his ear. It was rather soothing. In fact, it was usually what he fell asleep to at night, along with the deep, even breaths of his lover.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go take care of myself since you won't finish what you started." The older alchemist huffed as he let go of Edward and left the room, leaving a laughing blond to plop back down on the bed and stretch out. Breakfast would be up soon, but until then… Edward pulled up his shirt and looked at the baby bump, running the tips of his fingers over it lightly. Well, if he hadn't believed it before, there was no doubt about it now; he was really pregnant. At the sound of a throat being cleared, the neko jumped and quickly pulled his shirt down, looking up to see Alexander. The man had seen many things and had never once talked; he knew he didn't need to worry about his pregnancy being revealed to the press, if Alexander even assumed that was why his stomach was bigger than it should have been.

"Your breakfast, sir. And where is Fuhrer Mustang?"

"He's in the bathroom." Ed replied, eyeing the cart. "What have we got?" He got on his hands and knees, leaning over the foot of the bed to see. Alexander smiled and pushed the cart over to his side of the bed so the neko could get at it without falling onto the floor. The young alchemist didn't wait for an answer, instead looking over everything: Two omelets, bacon, sausage, a muffin- everyone knew Edward loved them- for each of them, coffee, and orange juice. His mouth started watering and he picked up a fork. The butler picked up around the room as the blond ate. When Roy came back in, already showered, Edward sat up straighter and grinned. "Breakfast!"

"I swear, you love food more than you love me." the dark-haired man joked, sitting down in front of Ed's crossed legs.

"Maybe just a little bit." Edward played along, popping another bite into his mouth.

"Haha, very funny." Roy mumbled sarcastically, toweling his wet hair. The neko rolled his eyes and got up on his knees again, bit of omelet balanced on the edge of the fork.

"Don't be Mr. Grumpyface." he cooed, nudging his lover's lips with the fork. "C'mooo~n, eat. You gotta go to work." The other gave him a look but opened his mouth and let Ed feed him.

"I'm not grumpy, Edward."

"Yes you aaa~re. But I still love you. Now eat." He placed the fork in Roy's hand and nudged the other's shoulder. The teasing continued the whole time they were eating, mostly Edward poking fun at Roy. The dark-haired man finished first, getting up to change and saying he'd be late otherwise. It made Edward pout, but he knew there wasn't much of a choice.

"Bye. I'll see you later." Edward mumbled, getting up to kiss his lover goodbye.

"Take it easy, alright? I'll be back before ya know it." Roy replied, kissing Ed's forehead one more time before leaving. Sighing, the blond returned to the bed, poking at his food before lying back down and pulling the blankets up to his chin. He and Roy weren't apart a lot, and he didn't like it when they were. He'd have loved to have gone with his lover to work, but he simply hadn't felt like it. Yawning, he nuzzled his nose into Roy's pillow, breathing deep of the other man's scent, and closed his eyes.

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

"What time is it?" the sleepy neko asked as he walked into the house's kitchen. Alexander looked over from speaking with the chef, smiling in that fond way he only used with Edward.

"About 5:30."

"So that means Roy should be home soon, right?"

"Yes, sir." Edward grinned and ran out of the room again, hopping on the couch on his knees and looking out the window, tail twitching in the air. Sometimes, the cat inside him was too powerful and he wound up doing things he wouldn't normally do, like this. It never really registered with him anymore.

When he saw Roy walking up to the door, he bounded to it and met his lover with a hug. "Miss me?" the dark-haired man asked, chuckling and returning the hug.

"Of course not." Ed replied, shaking his head. "Come on; I gotta show you something." He slipped out of the other's hold and grabbed his hand, dragging him upstairs- coat and shoes still on. The door was closed quietly behind them, the neko letting go of the older man's hand. He sat down on the bed and motioned for Roy to come closer. When the man had done so, Edward lifted his shirt enough so that the other could see the bump.

"Is that…" Roy trailed off, getting down on his knees and laying his hand lightly over it.

"Yeah."

"How far along _are _you?"

"Well… The doctor didn't really say; just something about being around a month. Apparently long enough for this." He waved his hand around his stomach, drawing Roy's attention for a moment. "Anymore doubts? Now would be the time to say."

"None at all." The dark-haired man kissed the baby bump softly before pulling his young lover's shirt down again and pulling both of them to their feet. "Let's go eat."

"Okay!" Ed followed Roy downstairs again, tail twitching happily. But then he thought about Al and paused. "I'll probably tell Al soon- tomorrow." he said quietly, looking up at his lover.

"How?"

"No clue. But he deserves to know. You'll come with me, right?"

"Of course." Edward smiled again and stretched up on his tiptoes, kissing Roy on the lips before hurrying down the hall to the dining room.

"Come on, old man!" he called after him, laughing. The Fuhrer smiled and followed after him.

* * *

**Wheeee! Cuteness! This story is fuuuuull of the cuteness, quite unlike The Heart Never Forgets and Used and Abused. But that also makes it a little harder to write. xD Not a lot of action and such. BUT I STILL ENJOY WRITING IT SO DON'T GET THE WRONG IDEA!**

**Edward: I get the feeling she doesn't want you to get the wrong idea.**

**Roy: Nah shit, Sherlock?**

**Me: What's up with you two? Why you keep fighting?**

**Edward: ... Cause we can!**

**Roy: Lover's feud?**

**Me: Yeah, I'll bet. Don't make me lock you in the bedroom. ANYWHO! I hope you enjoyed! Loved it? Hated it? Leave a review and lemme know! Ciao!**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**I really hate this chapter. I really. Fucking. Hate. This chapter. No lie. I have absolutely no clue why; I just do. Don't all authors have chapters/books they don't really like but publish anyways? Artists paintings that they despise but they display them and sell them regardless? Now I'm just rambling and making up excuses and such. There really are none; I guess I'm just a bit off my game lately. I apologize for that. Hang in there, ne? I'd hate to lose readers/fans for something so stupid as a few bad days. **

**Edward: Goooosh, I'm tired of listening to you going on like that. **

**Roy: And I'm tired of listening to the both of you argue. **

**Me: WELL I HATE BOTH OF YOU NOWSHUTUP! -huff- **

**Edward: You're so mean. T_T**

**Roy: What the hell?**

**Me: Now. On with eeeeet!**

**Thanks to all readers, and people who favorite/alert me/the story. Even more thanks to people who review, because that lets me know how much you're enjoying the story and stuff. =D I LOVE YOU GUYS!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. It came from Hiromu Arakawa's head. IF I DID, Winry would be dead, in the most gruesome way I could come up with. Roy and Edward would fuck in the most imaginative ways that are up in my heeeeeaaad. And, trust me, there are quite a few. **

**Warnings: Foul language. Winry. Huh, not many for this one. xD**

**Enjoy! (But I still really hate this chapter. The pace just feels... bleh, and there's not much going on in it.)  
**

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It had been about a week since Edward had realized he was starting to show. Since then, he hadn't gotten morning sickness again. Roy was still very gentle with him, even refusing to have sex. The neko had tried to convince his lover that he'd been fine if they did, but the other had simply said, "Give me some time. I'm still trying to get used to this, and I don't want to hurt either of you."

"Ed, I've been thinking."

"Uh-oh. Got a headache? Or maybe we need to call someone; you thinking is dangerous."

"Would you listen instead of cracking jokes?" Roy asked, grinning slightly nonetheless. The neko popped a bite of pancake in his mouth, then motioned with his fork for the other to continue. "When Hughes' wife was pregnant, she didn't start showing for… months, not just one. Must've been about three or four. Trust me, I never heard the end of it from Maes. You're only a little over a month in. Why are you already showing?"

"I-" Edward dropped his fork onto the plate, brows knitting together. He looked down at himself, pulling up his shirt a bit and brushing his hand lightly across his stomach. "Oh my damn. Roy!" He looked back up at the dark-haired man, eyes wide.

"It'll be okay, Ed. It just… Well, I don't know. But we'll go see the doctor and see what he says. _And _I'll find a place for us to stay, okay? That way nobody else will figure it out."

"Shit!"

"Wha-?" But Edward was already down the hall, hand clamped over his mouth.

"Shit." Roy repeated, getting up and following the blond quickly down the hall to the closest bathroom. Ed was leaning over the toilet, gagging and choking. The Fuhrer knelt down behind him, holding his hair out of the way. His free arm wrapped around the younger's middle, hand lying lightly on his pregnant stomach. Edward coughed, then spat into the toilet and flushed it, panting a bit.

"Morning sickness?" Roy asked quietly, reaching into a low cabinet and grabbing a white cloth. He leaned over to the large bathtub, running cool water over it before turning the water off and wiping it across his younger lover's forehead and cheeks.

"Mhm."

"I'll call the doctor later."

"Nnnnnnngh." Edward moaned, leaning over the toilet bowl again. "I think I'm dying."

"Whaaat?"

"Relax, not really. Ugh, you just…" A kiss to the side of his neck silenced him. He was feeling a bit better now, though he was still a bit nauseous. "Should probably tell Alphonse today." Actually, they'd _planned _to tell the younger Elric the day five days ago, but Edward had started panicking and decided to put it off. "Mind driving me over there later?"

"Not at all. Soon as you're ready."

"Good. Come on."

"Ed, shouldn't you-"

"Noooooo!" Ed replied- again, practically sang- as he got up and walked down the hall. "Hey, Alexander. Some more herbal tea? To go?"

"Of course, Mr. Elric." Alexander had stepped out from the kitchen at his name, and now he stepped back in to get Edward's tea. The blond walked up the stairs slowly, clearing his throat. The nausea had eased off even more now, but he was still careful about it. He changed into a pair of looser pants and one of Roy's button-ups. The sleeves had to be rolled up a bit, but at least it hid the bump better than one of his own shirts would have. His shoes were at the door, so he met Roy- and his cup of tea- in the living room.

"You ready?" the dark-haired man asked, smiling at him and holding out the travel cup. Edward took it and nodded, sipping from the steaming liquid.

"As I'll ever be. Let's go before I change my mind."

The ride to Alphonse and Winry's house was mostly silent, with Edward staring out the window and worrying about just what the hell he was going to say. After all, nothing about this was normal. The car stopped. The neko continued staring at the window, cup still pressed to his lips. Roy watching him for a few moments before he cleared his throat.

"Right. I'm going." Edward opened the door and hopped out of the car, leaving the cup behind. Before the Fuhrer had even reached the door, the blond was knocking on it, bouncing on the balls of his feet. A very tired-looking Alphonse, still in his sleeping clothes, opened the door just as Roy was walking up the stairs.

"Al!" Edward hugged his brother hard, just like he always did.

"What're you guys doing here so early? And you didn't even call…" Al mumbled sleepily, returning the hug.

"Oh, well, uh…" Edward pulled back, crossing his arms over his chest. "I kind of need to talk to you. It's really important, and… I meant to come a few days ago, but-"

"Come on in, then. Shouldn't really be surprised, what with it being you we're talking about." Alphonse stepped aside to let them both in. Edward toed off his boots before wandering into the living room, curling up at the arm of the couch before anyone else had even followed him in.

"Al, who was at the- Oh, hey, Edward! We weren't expecting you!" Winry exclaimed, bouncing into the living room.

"He says he's got something to talk to me about."

"Oh, something about work?" the blond mechanic asked curiously, finishing up trying her robe.

"Well, no…" Edward mumbled, avoiding everyone's gazes. "It's sort of… more… personal than that."

"Oh. Uh…" Winry blinked a couple of times. "I'll be, uh, in the bathroom." She hurried back up the stairs and Edward's sensitive ears picked up the sound of a door shutting quietly and water turning on.

"So, what's this about?" Al asked, taking a seat on an armchair across from him. Roy settled down beside the neko, arm draped over his shoulder. The younger Elric noticed that his brother was staring all about the room, but not at either of them.

"Well, uh, you're probably gonna think this is really weird and…. Well, fucking impossible. We thought the same thing, but after all that's happened I guess it's not all that surprising, what with-"

"You're rambling, Ed. Get to the point." Al said with a fond smile. The neko's ears flattened again his head, one of his sharp canines digging into his bottom lip.

"I'm pregnant." he blurted, golden eyes flickering over to his brother. Alphonse was staring at him, eyes wide and lips parted.

"What the hell? You're jerking me around, right? Whose idea was it? Havoc's? Wouldn't put it past him…" At the stony looks Roy and Edward were both giving him, the man trailed off, shaking his head. "Holy shit, you're not kidding. How?"

"I… don't know. I don't even think the doctor knows." Al was pacing by now, running his hands through his hair.

"Oh… _God._ What the _hell_? This is just… What're you going to do?"

"Keep it. We're planning to… take a vacation for a little while. Long enough that nobody'll realize, and then we'll come back."

"I can't believe this."

"We can't either, Alphonse." Roy had been silent up until now, and it was the only words he'd said since they'd gotten here.

"You won't tell, right?"

"Of course not! Nobody'd even believe me, anyways!"

"Thanks. We'll, uh… let you wrap your head around this. Come on, Roy." Edward mumbled, getting up and walking back to the door. He was slipping his shoes back on when Alphonse came up to him.

"How far along?"

"Dr. Neumann says about a month, a little over now. But… I'm already showing. Something's speeding it up or… something. I don't know. But… I'm going to try to figure it out." Edward replied, straightening. He hugged his brother one last time, all saying their goodbyes before Ed hurried his lover out of the door.

"I think he took that rather well." Roy mumbled, starting the car.

"That was the hardest thing I've ever done." Ed groaned, wide eyes locked ahead of him. Well, maybe it wasn't really the hardest thing he'd ever done, but, at the moment, it rather felt like it.

"If it helps, things will only get harder."

"Ugh, I hate you." They continued like that the whole ride to Central Headquarters, then they hurried up to Roy's office so no one would see them. Edward insisted they'd know something was really wrong if they saw him, and Roy humored him by playing along. "Now you find someplace for me to hide during this, or I'll fucking kill you. You got that?" And who was he to argue with that?

* * *

**Everyone agree it sucks? Thought so. Leave a review and let me know just how /much/ you hate it. The next will be better, I hope! **

**Edward: She doesn't have much to say. Scary, huh?**

**Roy: Note the sarcasm in his voice. **

**Me: I repeat, I hate you both. -_- ALSO, I have a very nutty idea. I spoke of it before, though it may have been on a different story. If I'm on your author alert, you'll probably see something about it soon. If not... Well, you most definitely won't. Like I said, it makes me certifiably insane, and the idea's very rare and stuff. So... Yeah...**

**REVIEW! Ciao! =D**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


	10. Chapter 10

**Yes. I'm very late with this update. But I've been having issues, okay? And, no, it's not with my mind this time. Well, technically, I have a bit of writer's block with this one, but the rest have nothing to do with my mind! I think... Meh, whatever. You guys don't wanna hear about my issues, anyways. You just wanna read the beautiful story-words that I speak/type/write. =D**

**Edward: She is not conceited at all. **

**Roy: Nope. Nothing in her world is about her. **

**Me: ... You two go back to bed. I ain't in the mood for your shit. -locks them in bedroom- And if I hear anything besides Ed snoring, I'll come in there with a... machete? -brandishes video camera-**

**Thank you to all my readers and the people adding me/my story to their alerts/favorites! Happiness! And to the people reviewing, even if I don't have a chance to get back to you? I LOVE YOU! =D **

**Disclaimer: How many times do I have to say that I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist before you understand?**

**Warnings: Foul language, mpreg, RoyEd kissy-face! **

**-from inside bedroom- WHAT THE HELL?**

**Me: Shut up! **

**Enjoy the chapter!  
**

_

* * *

Two Days Later_

"What about here?" The house on the page looked welcoming, but not what he wanted.

"Ew. Flip the fuckin' page."

"Here?"

"No! Again!"

"This one looks good."

"I don't fucking like that one."

"This one?" Roy asked hopefully, pointing to an isolated getaway cabin near the Briggs Mountain. Edward looked at it for a moment, read over the information accompanying it, looked between it and his stomach, then nodded his head.

"That one looks rather promising. I like it. Get it." the blond told him.

_A few days ago, they'd gone to the doctor. Neumann had examined him, done whatever-the-fuck doctors did, and flipped his lid. Seriously. Edward was wondering if they'd have to take the old man to the loony bin or something. The doctor had been mumbling things like "Shouldn't be that way." and "Only a month in, right?" and "No, no. That's not right. He shouldn't be showing." and "What's different?" That had scared the blond to death. Nobody knew what was going on, but Dr. Neumann had let them both go back home. _

_The day after the incident at the doctor's office, Roy had suddenly looked up from his paperwork, brow furrowed. _

"_Cats' pregnancies aren't as long as a human's."_

"_Very good, Roy! Why don't I give you a fucking cookie? Oh, that's right. It's because everyone knows that, Captain Obvious. Where the fuck did that come from?"_

"_You're a neko. So, you're part cat. Maybe your pregnancy won't last as long as a normal human's because of that." the Fuhrer pointed out, frowning at Edward. The blond stared at him silently for a few minutes, then his mouth dropped open. _

"_Holy shit!"_

"_Yup. That's what I thought."_

"_That could be it!" He let the pen fall onto the desk and he jumped up, jogging over to Roy and wrapping his arms around his neck. "We need to really start getting ready, then, if we're gonna have even less time. I mean… Gotta find a place before, and then we'll need things for the baby after the birth. And…"_

"_And?"_

"_Well… I'm kinda scared." Ed admitted, blushing. "You remember that time I took Winry to Rush Valley? Well, there was this storm, and this lady was pregnant. And, well, the baby decided it was time to come out after the bridge had given out. I thought she was going to die. She sounded like she was in so much pain, and she was screaming and shit." The neko's eyes were wide, ears flattened against his head. "All Al and I knew to do was run around and panic." _

"_Hey, Ed. It'll be okay. You'll be fine, and we'll be ready."_

"_How can you be so sure?" Edward asked, blinking at Roy like a terrified cat. Sure, he was no stranger to pain, but he'd been through enough and had thought it was over. Now this. He most definitely wanted the baby, but the pain? The pain he could do without. _

"_Because I know you. And I know us. We'll be fine, and we'll get through it okay. Okay?" Roy soothed, brushing the tips of his fingers across his lover's cheek. _

"_Okay." the blond replied, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, trying to calm down and relax. Even so, regardless of Roy's reassuring statements and soothing touches, he couldn't help but worry about what would happen. That worry came out in different ways though: Anger, sarcasm, and he'd even hit Roy a couple of times for small, insignificant reasons. But the dark-haired Fuhrer never so much as raised his voice, which prompted Ed to tell him he loved him more often, something he'd never really voiced before. _

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

"Son of a bitch!"

"What?" Roy sounded alarmed, like he was expecting Edward to go into labor at any second.

"I gotta piss! Again. Dammit, I can't wait until this is over so I won't have to go the bathroom every five fucking seconds." the neko grumbled, slamming a book down. "I'll be right back."

"You scared the shit out of me, you know!" the dark-haired man called after him, letting out a relieved breath. Edward didn't answer, though he was pretty sure he heard him bitching as he walked out of the door.

"Yo, Boss. Where's the chief goin'?" There was a cigarette bobbing between Havoc's lips as he spoke. Roy was sure the other man had 'given up smoking' a few days ago, and he wasn't surprised at all to see that Jean had gone right back to it. Somebody owed him some money.

"Bathroom break. What do you need, Havoc?"

"Hawkeye told me to bring you these." he said as he deposited a stack of files on the Fuhrer's desk. "Looked like she was getting some more for you, too." Roy groaned and dropped his head against the desk, causing a pen to roll off. "What's this?" Jean picked up the papers they'd been looking through earlier, the ones with the secluded getaway vacation spots. "You and Ed goin' somewhere?"

"Yeah. He wants to get out of Central for a while, and I figured I'd go with him; make something of it, ya know? Took us forever to find a place we agreed on."

"Ah, make something of it? Don't you do that every night anyways?" Roy shot a glare at him, and Havoc held his hands up in surrender. " Alright, alright. Ya need people to come up; be your guards. Can't be too careful, being Fuhrer and all. I'm surprised there haven't been more attempts on your life, Mustang." He put the papers back down again, chewing thoughtfully on his cigarette.

"Maybe… Guess I'm doing a pretty good job, then."

"Hey, Roy! Did yo-" Edward stopped in the door, quickly adjusting the over-sized button up- it was Roy's- over his stomach. He wasn't showing _that _much, but, soon, everyone would be able to tell. "Oh, hey, Havoc."

"Hey, Chief. You and Roy should come by soon and see Penelope. Maybe before you leave for that little vacation? I know you love her, and Riza says she really likes those flower crowns." Jean suggested, leaning against Roy's desk.

"H-How'd you know about that?"

"The papers are sitting on the desk, Ed." Havoc laughed, holding his cigarette between his fingers so he wouldn't lose it. "Nah, I get it, you and Roy want some time alone. Get it on. Nobody'll hold that against you." he said as he walked out, waving a hand. Ed blushed furiously, glaring over at Roy.

"Hey, don't look at me. I didn't tell him _anything_."

"Havoc!"

"Bye to you, too, Chief! Don't forget the offer!"

"Ugh!" Edward plopped down on the couch and glared out the window, arms crossed over his chest. "I really hate you people sometimes. Do people think we just fuck all the time?"

"We used to." Roy pointed out, going back to his paperwork. The blond was silent for a moment.

"Shut up. … Bastard."

**~;~;~;~;~;~;~;**

"We can leave as soon as you like."

"You got it?"

"Of course, Ed. Who wants to say no to the Fuhrer?" Roy grinned at him, pushing the open book down away from the blond's nose with his index finger.

"You didn't threaten anybody… did you?" he asked, brows tilting downwards in a suspicious expression.

"Of course not! You know I don't do that."

"Yeah, I know. Just had to make sure." Ed smirked, leaning forward and kissing the dark-haired man. "I'll call the doctor when we get there, let him know. He can come up later."

"Why not call him now?" Roy asked, frowning. Of course, he already had a fairly good idea why the blond wouldn't go ahead and call the doctor. He wanted to get out of Central just as much as he didn't want anyone to know he'd gotten pregnant; he still hated staying in one place for too long. If he told Dr. Neumann, the man might say he couldn't go.

"Well… I don't… If he tells me to stay put, I have to listen; normally, I wouldn't give a fuck what he said, but this is different and I don't really have a choice. But if I go ahead and go and call him afterwards, he won't want me coming back." the neko explained, his tone saying 'why-don't-you-fucking-know-this-already?' even if he didn't come right out and say it. "It makes perfect sense." Roy sighed heavily at Edward, rolling his eyes. Sometimes, they both acted like such children.

Nina jumped up into Ed's lap, and he smiled, stroking her back. She purred quietly, arching her back into his hand as her tail twitched in the air. The neko made a small purring noise in return, leaning down to nudge her nose with his own. Her bright green eyes flickered up to him, but then his fingers rubbed over a spot right near her ear and they closed contentedly again.

"You two look cute together. Sure you still need me?" Roy joked, grinning as one of the blond's brows nearly disappeared into his hairline.

"The hell you talking 'bout, Roy? I never needed you." Ed's tongue made an appearance, and the dark-haired man simply couldn't resist: He bit it. "Ow! Shit! What the fuck? Dammit!"

"Such foul language. Our baby's first word is going to be 'fuck' if he listens to you enough."

"How do you know it won't be a girl?"

"That's your only question?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if our baby's first word was 'fuck.'" Edward replied, shrugging one shoulder; the other hand was still sliding across Nina's back. She was now rubbing her head against the blond's stomach, purring. It was sort of funny, watching her do that; for all they knew, she could have been trying to talk to their baby. Ed chuckled lightly at the thought, receiving a questioning look from Roy. "She looks like she's trying to tell the baby something, don't you think?"

"Mm, I love you." the dark-haired man mumbled, pecking Ed on the lips. Golden eyes blinked questioningly up at him, silently asking _What brought that on? _"Do I need a reason?"

"No… I guess not." he replied quietly, hand pausing on the arch of Nina's back. He stretched up a bit, catching the other's lips and holding them. They hadn't had sex since they'd found out that Edward was pregnant, and Roy was still refusing to do anything since they knew nothing about how this pregnancy would go. It was so obviously not normal, and they didn't know how everything was going to work out. Ed had to say he agreed with it.

"I'll have to bring someone up with us."

"What?"

"I'm Fuhrer, Ed. If someone found out where I was and I had no one up there to guard us, someone could easily take one or both of our lives. Hawkeye and Havoc are, obviously, my first choices. We'd have to tell them. Everything. And Penelope would probably come with us, too."

"Fine. We can tell them. Even though I'm really not happy about it, but you're right. I don't want someone to kill you." Edward mumbled, settling back on the couch again and starting to absently rub Nina's back.

"I should hope not." Roy kissed Edward again, smirking to himself.

"Do it. Before I change my mind."

* * *

**So, liked it? Hated it? Should I put the pencil /down?/ LEMME KNOW IN A REVIEW! =D**

**I haven't worked on Down the Rabbit Hole anymore... I probably should. OH WAIT! Readers of this story haven't heard about Down the Rabbit Hole, have you? Well, it's a Fullmetal Alchemist/Alice in Wonderland (2010) crossover written by yours truly! Obviously, it's not gonna be completely like FMA or completely like /any/ of the Alice in Wonderland movies or books. Because this is me we're talking about. YOU SHOULD CHECK IT OUT AND LEAVE ME A REVIEW! =D**

**Right, so, Ed and Roy are sleeping... I think... Well, I haven't heard and swearing or shrieking from in there, so they /must/ be asleep. Boring boys. -_- Anyways, I'm turning in cos I'm tiredddddd. Night! AND DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!  
**

**Ciao!**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**Ugh. The formatting for this one was fucked up, too. If any part of it is still fucked up, please ignore it. Also, still no beta. So, if anything is wrong with wording/spelling, ignooooore. Because my mind sometimes works ahead of my fingers. Yeah...**

**Edward: Your mind works?**

**Roy: You're just begging her to kill you.**

**Me: No. No. I'm trying to work on that. I shan't be even threatening to kill anyone! =D**

**Edward: Yeah. See how long that lasts.**

**Roy: Shut. Up. Ed.**

**Me: Ignoring. **

**Thanks to everyone who reads this story and reviews it! I love getting the emails for reviews and favorites/alerts. =D **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. Aaaaany questions about that? It's pretty straightforward. **

**Warnings: Foul language. Mpreg. RoyEd bickering.**

**Enjoy!  
**

* * *

"I'm never leaving this bed again. I'm fat and ugly and it's all _your_ fault and I hate you for it!" The lump of blankets produced a hand, finger pointing directly at Roy's nose. He went cross-eyed looking at it before he sighed and pushed the hand away, settling down on the bed beside the talking lump of blankets. One of his hands rested lightly on it, rubbing soothingly.

"Ed, you are _not _fat and ugly." he mumbled, attempting to move aside some of the blankets. The hand that had been produced slapped his arm away, and, since it was the automail hand, he found that he didn't mind not trying that again.

"You're just saying that so I won't be difficult." the blankets replied quietly, shifting.

"I am not. I've been with you for years. If I was lying and I did think you were fat and ugly, I'd have left you, don't you think?" The blankets produced blond hair and teary golden eyes next, along with the fingers of a flesh hand. "Or I'd have left you years ago. I love you, Ed, and I'm not gonna leave. You're gorgeous."

"Even though I've got this stupid pregnant belly?"

"Even with the 'stupid pregnant belly.'" Roy mocked, kissing the blond's forehead. Edward rubbed his eyes, sitting up a bit more in the bed.

"I love you, too." he mumbled, pushing up and kissing the older man. "But I still hate you."

"How can you love me _and _hate me?"

"Shut up. I can and I do. Now go get me food. I'm starving." The dark-haired man placed his hands on either of Edward's hips, pulling him closer and nuzzling the side of his neck. "That's not getting me food." the irritated neko grumbled, shoving his arms between them and folding them over his chest.

"Love it when you get so bossy."

"Then get me something to fucking eat!" Ed hissed, shoving his lover's shoulder roughly. As he was pulled into the older man's lap, he yelped, grabbing onto the shoulder he'd shoved just moments before. His hands slid around, wrapping his arms around the man's neck. Roy scooped the neko up bridal style and carried him out, ignoring the complaints until he was swatted upside the head. "I told you I was never leaving that fucking bed! Why the hell did you pick me up like that?"

"Ed, calm down." Roy groaned, shaking his hair out to fix it. "You can stay in this house as long as you won't, but I'm not going to let you stay in bed all day every day. Even if I have to carry you around myself." He gently sat Edward down on the couch in the living room, wary of being swung at again. "Havoc, Hawkeye, and Penelope will be coming by in a little while. Think you'll be able to act… not pissed?"

"I'm not acting pissed!" the blond snapped, crossing his arms and sliding into the corner of the couch. "Of course I can act like I should. And why didn't you tell me _before _now?" He aimed a kick at Roy, barely grazing his leg.

"You were asleep when it was decided." The Fuhrer shrugged and took a seat on the other end of the couch.

"I'm still hungry."

"And Alexander is bringing something for you to eat right now, Ed. Be a little bit more patient."

"Maybe I don't wanna be patient."

"If I might interrupt, sirs. I have your breakfast." The aforementioned butler was standing in the doorway, holding a tray with their breakfast on it instead of pushing a cart, with a small smile on his face. He set the try on the small coffee table in front of their couch and lifted the lid off. Edward immediately went for it, while Roy sat back and watched him silently.

"Thank you, Alexander." Roy mumbled, resting his chin on his fist. The elder man bowed out, leaving them alone for a little while. Then there was a knock on the door and the butler led Jean, Riza, and their child, tucked in blankets in her mother's arms, into the living room where Ed was still shoveling food in his mouth and Roy was still watching him.

"Damn. Ya never realize how much he can eat until you actually see him doing it." Havoc chuckled, sprawling out in a chair.

"Jean." Riza snapped, bouncing Penelope lightly. The smoker shrugged, holding his hands up in surrender, then chewed on the end of his cigarette quietly, rathering Hawkeye didn't pull a gun on him. "Hello, Edward, Fuhrer Mustang. What did you want to see us about?"

"Can I hold her?" Ed asked, finally looking up from his food. Apparently Penelope was more important than eating right now. Either that, or the neko had finished eating. Riza smiled and gently passed the little girl over to Edward, who smiled down at her, stroking her cheek softly with one flesh finger and cooing sweet nonsense to her.

"Now, Fuhrer, what did you want to see us about?" the sniper asked, taking a seat across from the couch.

"I'd like both of you to come with us to a cabin near the Briggs Mountain for a while. Ed wants to get out of the city, and I'd like to go with him. Penelope, of course, will come, too."

"You need protection." It wasn't a question, the blond woman nodding slowly.

"Yes. And I'd trust the both of you with all three of our lives."

"Well, sir-" Riza broke off, realization dawning. "Three? There are only two of you: You and Edward." she pointed out, frowning. There was a puzzled expression on her face, brows furrowing over her eyes and one corner of her mouth tilting down. Edward stared down at Penelope silently, biting his lip hard. She laughed to try to get his attention back on her, tugging hard on his golden bangs. The best he could manage at the moment was to smile weakly, not even bothering to tug his hair from her grasp.

"No. There's not." Roy replied, shaking his head.

"But, Mustang! Th-" Havoc finally spoke up, only to be silenced by a raised hand from the Fuhrer.

"There are three of us. Me, Edward, and-"

"I'm fucking pregnant, okay? Quit beating around the fucking bush, Mustang, and let it out." The neko glared at his lover through his hair- Penelope still hadn't let go- mouth set in a tight line.

"I was building up to it. Don't you think they'd need a moment to process it?"

"Process it? You mean work it out from your stupid little hints, right?"

"You're _what?_" Jean finally yelped, cigarette falling out of his mouth and onto the floor.

"Apparently in a fucking foul mood." Roy grumbled, rolling his eyes.

"Before that." Riza whispered, eyes wide.

"I. Am. Pregnant. You should know. You went through it all before. The morning sickness, the shit with my moods, the weird cravings-"

"You always had weird cravings." the dark-haired man interrupted.

"The baby bump, the worrying, and all that good shit." Ed finished as if Roy had said nothing, still glaring. By now, he'd gently tugged his hair from Penelope's chubby fist and was bouncing her in his arms.

"You're jerking us around, right? You can't be serious!" Havoc's eyes were huge. Edward silently compared them to saucers, biting his lip again.

"We're not." Roy reached over, grabbing the hem of his younger lover's shirt. "Here, Ed, pull up your shirt and show them."

"What? I ain't pulling up my shirt! The fuck is wrong with you?" the neko snapped, punching the older man in the arm as best he could with a baby in his arms.

"See? He's not pregnant. That's impossible."

"Oh yeah? You wanna ask my doctor?" Edward growled, narrowing his eyes at Jean and turning his attention away from the dark-haired man beside him. Roy took the chance and pulled up the blond's button-up.

"Now do you believe me?"

"You bastard! What the hell?" Edward slammed the palm of his automail hand into the back of his lover's head, glaring at him all the while. Roy hissed, cradling the spot where Ed hit him with his own hand, glaring back at his younger lover. But Jean and Riza where still staring at his stomach, shocked because they'd _seen_. The same thought was running through both of their heads, and would be the only thought anyone in this situation could possibly come up with and form: _What the hell?_

"Y-You're n-not joking." Havoc finally stammered, still staring at the spot where Ed's shirt had fallen back over his swollen belly. "How?"

"Well, uh, we think it has something to do with… this." the neko replied, gesturing to the cat ears nestled in his hair. The left one twitched as his finger brushed across the tip. They'd both flattened out to the sides a few minutes ago, but they were slowly starting to perk up again. "At least, that's the only theory we can come up, and the only thing that really makes any sense."

"What about this makes sense?" Riza gasped, finally looking up at Edward's face. The blond alchemist was silent for a few moments, considering what to say.

"I guess none of it _should _make any sense, but we've had a while to think about it and get used to it. Then we came up with an idea or two about how it could have happened, and… Well, we just got used to it and stuff, okay?" His tone started out calm, but he finished speaking with irritation leaking into his voice. He wasn't feeling very well and he was certainly not feeling like putting up with shit. They all sat in silence for a while, staring at each other. Penelope started crying and Ed bounced her more, shushing her and kissing her cheeks.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"I'll do it. I'd have done it anyways, but I'm glad you told me about you being pregnant anyways. You'll make a great parent to your child, Ed, if the way you treat Penelope is anything to go by." Riza said, smiling softly at the neko. Roy looked expectantly at Havoc.

"I'll do it, too. But this is still kinda weird, ya know. What with the, uh-" The smoker gestured towards Ed's stomach, then leaned over in the chair to pick his cigarette up off of the floor.

"Well, it's not _my _fault! It's _his_." the neko hissed, pointing to Roy.

"Oh, of course; it's _my _fault when neither of us had any idea it was possible."

"Boys!" Both of them looked over at Riza, eyes wide. "Can we stop bickering, please? It's no one's fault."

"Yeah, fine. I gotta go to the bathroom. Hold her for me?" Ed asked, looking up at his lover.

"What? Why me?"

"You've got to learn how to hold them. Duh." The blond rolled his eyes and dumped Penelope in the older man's arms, getting up and walking back to the bathroom.

"What the hell have I gotten myself into?" Roy groaned, staring down at the baby in his arms.

* * *

**Leave a review to let me know what you think! I'm not really gonna ramble today, and I'm silencing Roy and Edward for being bastards. **

**Edward: We weren't-**

**Me: SHUT UP! Why can't you /listen/ like Roy?**

**Roy: Haha!**

**Me: You shut up, too! Leave a review! Ciao!**

**hugs&kisses~ Madarao  
**


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